Lingaliro la Baibulo

Kukwatirana Kapena Kukhalira Pamodzi—Kodi Choyenera Nchiti?

“KODI tidzakwatirana liti?” Funso limeneli lingakhale linalingaliridwa ndi aŵiri okondana omwe anatomerana zaka zokwanira 35 zapitazo. Komabe, lerolino pali kuthekera kwakuti funso loterolo lingadzutsidwe ndi anthu aŵiri omwe anayamba kale kukhalira pamodzi. Zinthu zasintha limodzinso ndi mikhalidwe kulinga ku ukwati. Kodi ndinjira iti imene iri yabwinopo: Kukwatirana, kapena kukhalira pamodzi ndi munthu amene mungasankhe?

Kupenda kumasonyeza kuti ku Brazil, Falansa, Sweden, United States, ndi maiko ena ambiri, kukhalira pamodzi popanda ukwati kuli kofala. Kungakhale kogwirizana ndi mikhalidwe yamakono, koma sikuli kwatsopano. Chomwe chiri chatsopano ndi maganizo a anthu ponena za kachitidweko. Kukhalira pamodzi komwe kale kunalingaliridwa kukhala tchimo tsopano kumaloledwa kapena kuvomerezedwa ndi ambiri kukhala koyenera kwenikweni.

Kukhalira Pamodzi—Kodi Kuli ndi Mapindu?

Anthu ena amapereka chigomeko chakuti kakonzedwe kakukhalira pamodzi kali kanzeru, popeza kuti kamatheketsa aŵiriwo kudziŵana bwino lomwe asanaloŵe unansi wokhaliratu wa ukwati. Mapindu ena amene ena amasonyako ndi aŵa: Kumatheketsa aŵiriwo kuchepetsako ndalama zowonongedwa mwakuthandizana kulipira lendi; kumawapatsa ufulu kwa makolo awo; kumapereka unansi wofunika, kuphatikizapo kugonana. Aŵiri osakwatirana achikulire amanena kuti mwakukhalira pamodzi samataya mwaŵi wakulandira malipiro ochuluka aboma operekedwa kwa anthu okhala paulova.

Komabe, chigomeko chimodzi champhamvu chotsutsa kukhalira pamodzi popanda ukwati ndi ichi: Aliyense angathetse unansiwo panthaŵi iriyonse mwakungochoka. Kwenikweni, nyuzipepala yatsiku ndi tsiku Yachifalansa ya Le Monde inasimba kuti mu Sweden ndi Norway, theka la maunansi akukhalira pamodzi sakhala kwa zaka ziŵiri, ndipo kuchokera pa 60 mpaka 80 peresenti amasweka m’zaka zochepera pa zisanu.

Ukwati—Ndiwo Njira Yabwinopo

Amene amachilikiza kukhalira pamodzi angatche ntchato kukhala “pepala wamba,” chinthu chopanda phindu lenileni. Mkhalidwe umenewu umasonyezedwanso m’maprogramu azisudzo a TV ndi akanema, limodzinso ndi m’miyoyo yamseri ya anthu otchuka. Chifukwa chake, tiyeni tilingalire phindu lenileni la “pepala wamba” limenelo.

Pamene muloŵa m’bizinesi ndi munthu wina kapena kugula katundu kapena kubwereketsa munthu wina ndalama, kodi nchifukwa ninji mumalemba miyezo yake ndipo ngakhale kuitsimikizira mwalamulo? Chifukwa chimodzi nchakuti pangano lapangidwa ndi onse aŵiri, ndipo ziri kaamba ka ubwino wa onse aŵiri kulemba miyezo yake. Mwachitsanzo, ngati winayo afa, kusoŵa, kapena kuchita misala, miyezoyo imagwirabe ntchito mwalamulo. Zofananazo nzowona muukwati. Ngati winayo kapena onse aŵiri amwalira, lamulo m’maiko ambiri limapereka makonzedwe kwa ziŵalo zamoyo za banjalo. Kaŵirikaŵiri izi sizimakhalapo m’kakonzedwe ka kukhalira pamodzi. Liri pangano limeneli limene limapangitsa kusiyana pakati pa kukhalira pamodzi ndi ukwati. Ndipo ntchato uli chokumbutsa kwa aŵiriwo za pangano la kukondana, kulemekezana, ndi kusamalirana ndi zoloŵetsedwa zalamulo za malumbiro aukwati.

Mkazi wina wokwatiwa ananena motere: “Mwinamwake ndine wachikale, koma pangano la ukwati limandipangitsa kudzimva wotetezereka kwambiri.” Iye akumveketsa zimene Mulungu ananena pamene anakwatitsa anthu aŵiri oyambirira kuti: ‘Chifukwa chotero mwamuna adzasiya atate ŵake ndi amake nadzadziphatika kwa mkazi wake; ndipo adzakhala thupi limodzi.’a (Genesis 2:24) Umodzi wapadera! Chotero, “thupi limodzi” liri lotheka muunansi wokwana, wotheratu, walamulo, wamoyo wonse wokha—osati kwina kulikonse.

Komabe, anthu ena amatsutsa kuti amadziŵa anthu ena omwe amakhalira pamodzi popanda ukwati komabe ali ndi unansi wolimba.

“Akwatitsidwe”

Baibulo limapereka chifukwa chabwino koposa chakuti anthu aŵiri asamangokhalira pamodzi popanda ukwati. ‘Ukwati uchitidwe ulemu ndi onse, ndi pogona pakhale posadetsedwa; pakuti adama ndi achigololo adzawaweruza Mulungu,’ amatero Ahebri 13:4. Baibulo limanena momvekera ndi mosabisa kuti kukhalira pamodzi popanda ukwati ndi dama. Kodi liwu lakuti “dama” limatanthauzanji? Dikishonale ina imalifotokoza kukhala “kugonana kwa anthu omwe sali mwamuna ndi mkazi wake.” Kuti tikhale ndi chikumbumtima chabwino, uphungu wa Baibulo uwu uyenera kutsatiridwa: ‘Mulungu afuna kuti mudzipatule kudama.’—1 Atesalonika 4:3.

Koma bwanji ngati ena ali ndi vuto lakulamulira zilakolako zawo zakugonana? Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: ‘Ngati sadziŵa kudziletsa, akwatitsidwe; pakuti nkwabwino kukwatira koposa kutentha mtima.’ Ndipo kachiŵirinso: ‘Koma wina akayesa kuti achitira [unamwali, NW] wake chosayenera, . . . akwatitsidwe.’ (1 Akorinto 7:9, 36) Onani kuti Paulo sananene kuti ‘achite chimene afuna ndi kukhalira pamodzi’ koma, “Akwatitsidwe.”

Sizikutanthauza kuti ukwati uyenera kuwonedwa kokha monga njira yokhutiritsira zilakolako zakugonana. Aŵiriwo ayenera kudziŵana bwino asanakwatirane. Koma kodi mungatero motani ngati simukukhalira pamodzi? Kutomerana kolemekezeka kumapereka mwaŵi wokwanira kaamba ka chimenecho. Muyenera kusankha zimene mumayembekezera muukwati ndi kwa mnzanuyo. Kodi zosoŵa zanu zakuthupi, zamaganizo, ndi zauzimu nzotani? Kodi munthu amene mukumulingalira kukhala wothekera kukhala mnzanu adzakuthandizani kuzikwaniritsa?—Mateyu 5:3.

Mutalingalira zapamwambazi, mosakaikira mudzavomereza kuti panjira ziŵirizo—kukhalira pamodzi kapena kukwatirana—yomalizirayi njabwinopo. Aŵiri okhalira pamodzi muukwati amachita tero popanda liŵongo kapena mantha, ndipo amalemekezedwa ndi mabwenzi ndi achibale. Ana awo samakhala ndi maganizo ovulazidwa akubadwira kunja kwa ukwati. Ndipo chofunika koposa, oterowo amakondweretsa Mulungu mwakulemekeza kakonzedwe kake ka ukwati.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 30]

Ukwati wa m’zaka za zana la 16

[Mawu a Chithunzi]

Peasant Wedding, by Pieter Bruegel the Elder, 16th century

With kind permission of the Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna