Mmene Mungalangile Ana Anu
“Kungomva kulila kwa galimoto iliyonse imene inali kudutsa mkwiyo wanga unali kuonjezeka. Aka kanali kacitatu kuti Jordan alephele kutsatila malamulo a pa nyumba. Ndinadzifunsa kuti, ‘Nanga iye ali kuti? Kodi pali zimene zam’citikila? Mwati adziŵa kuti tili ndi nkhawa?’ Nthawi imene anafika pa nyumba, mtima wanga unali utatukutila ndi mkwiyo,” anatelo a GEORGE.
“Mwana wanga wamkazi analila mogonthetsa m’kutu, cakuti ndinada nkhawa kwambili. Nditaceuka, ndinaona kuti wagwila kumutu uku akulila. Anali atamenyedwa ndi mng’ono wake wazaka zinai,” anatelo a NICOLE.
“Natalie, mwana wathu wazaka 6 anatiuza kuti: ‘Sindine ndaba mphete. Ndangoitola cabe.’ Iye anakana kwa mutu wa galu, uku maso ake ali tong’o. Pamene mwana wathu anakana, tinapwetekedwa mtima kwambili cakuti tinayamba kulila. Tinadziŵa kuti anali kunama,” anatelo a STEPHEN.
NGATI ndinu kholo, mwadziŵa mmene zimamvekela mwana akakuuza zimene tachula m’mau oyambililawa. Za conco zikacitika, mwina mumadzifunsa mmene mungalangile mwana wanu, ndiponso ngati ndi koyenela kupeleka cilango kwa mwanayo. Kodi n’kulakwa kulanga ana anu?
KODI KULANGA N’CIANI?
Mu Baibulo, liu lakuti ‘kulanga’ si mau cabe ena a cilango. Kwenikweni, kulanga ndi kupeleka malangizo, kuphunzitsa, ndi kuongolela. Sikutanthauza nkhanza kapena kuzunza.—Miyambo 4:1, 2.
Kulanga ana tingakuyelekezele ndi kusamalila maluŵa. Munthu wosamalila maluŵa amakonza bwinobwino nthaka, amaithilila ndi kuika manyowa. Amateteza maluŵa ake kuti asaonongeke ndi tudoyo ndi maudzu. Pamene maluŵa akula, amawadulila bwino kuti apitilize kukula mmene iye afunila. Munthuyo amadziŵa kuti kuseŵenzetsa maluso osiyanasiyana, kumathandiza kuti maluŵa akhale obiliŵila bwino. Makolo naonso amasamalila ana ao m’njila zosiyanasiyana. Koma nthawi zina makolo amafunikila kulanga ana, kumene kuli ngati kudulila maluŵa. Kucita zimenezo, kumathandiza kuongolela maganizo olakwika a ana ao ndi kuwathandiza kuti akule bwino. Komabe, wodulila maluŵa amafunika kusamala podula, cifukwa ngati sanatelo maluŵa angafote kapena kuuma. Mofananamo, makolo ayenela kulanga ana ao mosamala ndi mwacikondi.
Yehova Mulungu, amene ndi mwini Baibulo, amapeleka citsanzo cabwino kwa makolo pa nkhani imeneyi. Malangizo amene amapeleka kwa atumiki ake omvela a padziko lapansi, ndi othandiza kwambili ndipo ndi oyenela cakuti awathandiza ‘kukonda malangizo.’ (Miyambo 12:1) Iwo ‘amagwila malangizo, ndipo sawataya.’ (Miyambo 4:13) Makolo, mungathandize ana anu kulandila malangizo mwa kutsatila mosamalitsa mfundo zitatu za mmene Mulungu amatilangila. Iye amatilanga: (1) mwacikondi, (2) moyenela, ndi (3) mosasinthasintha.
KULANGA MWACIKONDI
Malangizo a Mulungu ndi ozikidwa pa cikondi, ndipo iye amatilanga cifukwa ca cikondi cimeneci. Baibulo limati: “Yehova amadzudzula munthu amene amam’konda, monga momwe bambo amadzudzulila mwana amene amakondwela naye.” (Miyambo 3:12) Ndiponso, Yehova ndi “wacifundo ndi wacisomo, wosakwiya msanga.” (Ekisodo 34:6) Ndiye cifukwa cake, Yehova sagwilitsila nchito mphamvu zake molakwika kapena mwankhanza. Ndipo salankhula mau aukali, odzudzula nthawi zonse, kapena onyoza. Cifukwa mau a conco amakhala “olasa ngati lupanga.”—Miyambo 12:18.
Kukamba zoona, n’zosatheka makolo kutsatila ndendende citsanzo cabwino kwambili ca Mulungu ca kudziletsa. Nthawi zina mungalephele kukhala oleza mtima, koma panthawi yovuta imeneyi, muzikumbukila kuti kupeleka cilango mwaukali nthawi zambili kumakhala kwankhanza, kopitilila malile, ndipo kosathandiza. Motelo, kupeleka cilango cifukwa caukali kapena cifukwa cokhumudwa, sindiye kulanga. Kumeneko kwangokhala kulephela kudziletsa.
Koma ngati mumalanga ana mwacikondi ndi modziletsa, mungakhale ndi zotsatilapo zabwino. Onani mmene a George ndi a Nicole, makolo aŵili amene tachula kuciyambi kwa nkhani ino, analangila ana ao.
A George anati: “Pamene Jordan anafika panyumba, ine ndi mkazi wanga mitima inali itatukutila ndi mkwiyo. Koma pamene anali kutifotokozela tinaugwila mtima. Popeza kuti unali usiku kwambili, tinaganiza zokambilana nkhaniyo m’maŵa. Tinapemphela pamodzi ndi kupita kukagona. Tsiku lotsatila, maganizo atakhazikika tinakambilana bwinobwino ndi mwana wathu, ndipo tinam’fika pa mtima. Iye anali wofunitsitsa kutsatila malamulo athu, ndipo anavomeleza kuti analakwa. Cokondweletsa n’cakuti tinazindikila kuti kucita zinthu nthawi imeneyo pamene tili ndi mkwiyo sikuthandiza. Tikalola kuti coyamba timvetsele zimene mwana akufotokoza, nthawi zambili zotsatilapo zinali kukhala zabwino.”
A Nicole anati: “Ndinakwiya kwambili pamene mwana wanga wa mwamuna anamenya mlongo wake. M’malo mocitapo kanthu nthawi imeneyo, ndinamuuza kuti apite kucipinda cake, cifukwa ndinali nditakwiya kwambili cakuti sindikanapanga cosankha coyenela. Pambuyo pake mtima utakhala pansi, ndinam’fotokozela kuti ndeu ndi yoipa ndipo ndinam’sonyeza mmene anapwetekela mlongo wake. Kum’langa mwa njila imeneyo kunam’thandiza kwambili. Iye anapepesa kwa mlongo wake ndi kum’kumbatila.”
Ndithudi, kulanga kwabwino, ngakhale pamene tifunika kupeleka cilango, nthawi zonse kumacitika cifukwa ca cikondi.
KULANGA MOYENELA
Nthawi zonse Yehova amatilanga “pamlingo woyenela.” (Yeremiya 30:11; 46:28) Iye amayang’ana nkhani yonse, kuphatikizapo zimene sitingamvetsetse. Kodi makolo naonso angacite motani zimenezi? A Stephen, amene tawachula kuciyambi kwa nkhani ino anati: “Tinapwetekedwa mtima kwambili ndi zimene Natalie anacita. Ndipo sitinamvetsetse cifukwa cake anali kukana kuti sanatenge mphete. Koma tinaona kuti anali ndi zaka zocepa ndi nzelu zaumwana.”
A Robert, amuna a Nicole, naonso amayesa kuona nkhani yonse. Mwana wao akalakwa, amadzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi ndi nthawi yoyamba iye kucita zimenezi kapena cangokhala cizoloŵezi cake coipa? Kodi wacita zimenezi cifukwa colema kapena cosamva bwino? Kodi zimene wacita zionetsa kuti iye ali ndi vuto linalake?’
Makolo amene amaona zinthu moyenela amazindikilanso kuti ana sangacite zinthu monga munthu wamkulu. Mtumwi Paulo anavomeleza mfundo imeneyi pamene analemba kuti: “Pamene ndinali kamwana, ndinali kulankhula ngati kamwana, kuganiza ngati kamwana.” (1 Akorinto 13:11) A Robert anati: “Cimene cimandithandiza kuona zinthu moyenela ndi kupewa kucita zinthu mwaukali, ndi kukumbukila zimene ndinali kucita pamene ndinali mwana.”
Muyenela kukhala ololela kuti mwana wanu adzasintha, koma panthawi imodzimodzi, simuyenela kulekelela khalidwe loipa la ana anu. Kuganizila zimene mwana wanu angacite, zimene sangacite, ndi zinthu zina kudzakuthandizani kulanga bwino ana anu ndiponso moyenela.
KULANGA MOSASINTHASINTHA
Lemba la Malaki 3:6, limati: “Ine ndine Yehova, sindinasinthe.” Atumiki a Mulungu amawakhulupilila kwambili mau amenewa, ndipo amazimva otetezeka kudziŵa zimenezi. Ngati mumalanga ana anu mosasinthasintha, naonso amakhala otetezeka. Ana sapindula ndipo amakhumudwa ngati mumasinthasintha powalanga.
Musaiŵale kuti Yesu anati: “Tangotsimikizani kuti mukati Inde akhaledi Inde, ndipo mukati Ayi akhaledi Ayi.” Makolo ayenela kutsatila kwambili mfundo imeneyi. (Mateyu 5:37) Samalani kuti musamange mfundo zimene mudzalephela kutsatila. Ngati mwauza mwana wanu kuti mudzamulanga akacita colakwika cina cake, muzisunga mau anu.
Kukambitsilana bwino ndi ana kumathandiza kuwalanga mosasinthasintha. A Robert anati: “Ngati ndilola ana athu kucita zinthu zimene andipempha, kenako n’kudzazindikila kuti mkazi wanga anali atawaletsa kucita zinthuzo, ndimasintha maganizo kuti ndigwilizane naye.” Ngati makolo asemphana maganizo pankhani ina, angacite bwino kukambilana mwamseli nkhaniyo ndi kumanga mfundo imodzi.
KULANGA NDI KOFUNIKA
Ngati mumalanga ana anu mwacikondi, moyenela ndi mosasinthasintha monga mmene Yehova amacitila, mungakhale ndi cidalilo cakuti ana anu adzapindula. Malangizo anu acikondi adzathandiza ana anu kukula bwino ndi kukhala anthu okhwima, odalilika, ndi ocita zinthu moyenela. Baibulo limakamba kuti: “Phunzitsa mwana m’njila yomuyenelela. Ngakhale akadzakalamba sadzapatukamo.”—Miyambo 22:6.