ICOFASHA UMURYANGO | KURERA ABANA
Ivyogufasha kuyobora neza abana bawe
Ico ukwiye kumenya
Muri iki gihe, mu mico myinshi usanga abana biyumvamwo cane abavyeyi babo, bakabitura kugira babahe impanuro. Mu yindi mico na ho, akenshi usanga abana bitura abo mu runganwe rwabo.
Igihe abana bitura abo mu runganwe rwabo, usanga bataba bacubaha ubuyobozi bahabwa n’abavyeyi babo. Abo bana bamaze kuba imiyabaga, abavyeyi babo boshobora kwumva umenga nta jambo babafiseko. Kandi ivyo ntibitangaje. Igihe abana bamarana umwanya munini n’abandi bana, ni nk’aho baba bariko bararerana aho kurerwa n’abavyeyi babo.
Kubera iki vyoroshe cane ko abana biyumvamwo abo mu runganwe rwabo aho kwiyumvamwo abavyeyi babo? Raba imvo zikurikira.
Ishure. Igihe abana bamara umwanya nka wose bari kumwe n’abandi bana baca babiyumvamwo, bagatangura kurondera gushimwa n’abo mu runganwe rwabo aho kurondera gushimwa n’abavyeyi babo. Ivyo birarushiriza kwunyuka abana bamaze kuba imiyabaga.
Abana bakwiye kurondera gushimwa n’abavyeyi babo, aho kurondera gushimwa n’abo bigana
Kumarana umwanya muto. Mu miryango myinshi, iyo abana bavuye kw’ishure basanga ata muntu n’umwe ari muhira, kumbure kubera abavyeyi baba bari ku kazi.
Inyifato y’imiyabaga. Abana bamaze gushika mu buyabaga baca batangura kwifata nk’iyindi miyabaga, haba mu kuntu bambara, mu kuntu bavuga no mu vyo bakora. Akenshi usanga bitwararika ukuntu abo mu runganwe rwabo bababona kuruta ukuntu abavyeyi babo bababona.
Abadandaza. Abadandaza usanga bahingura ibintu canke bagatunganya ivyo kwinezereza bigenewe abakiri bato gusa. Ivyo bituma birushiriza kugora ko abavyeyi n’abana batahurana. Umuhinga mu vy’inyifato Robert Epstein yanditse ati: “Hamwe imiyabaga yohindura inyifato, amahinguriro menshi yinjiza amahera atari make yoca ahomba.”a
Ico wokora
Nugume ukomeza ubucuti ufitaniye n’umwana wawe.
Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Aya majambo ndagutegetse uno musi aze abe ku mutima wawe; kandi uze uyashimangire mu mwana wawe wongere uyage ivyayo igihe wicaye mu nzu yawe, n’igihe ugenda ku nzira, n’igihe uryamye, n’igihe uvyutse.”—Gusubira mu vyagezwe 6:6, 7.
Abo mu runganwe barashobora kubera abagenzi umwana wawe, ariko ntibakwiye kwigera bagusubirira wewe muvyeyi. Inkuru nziza ni iyi: Abahinga bavuga ko abana benshi hamwe n’imiyabaga bubaha abavyeyi babo bakipfuza no kubanezereza. Hamwe woguma wiyegereza cane abana bawe, uzobagirako akosho cane kuruta abo mu runganwe rwabo.
“Urakwiye kumarana umwanya n’abana bawe, mugakorana udukorwa twa misi yose, nko guteka, gukora isuku n’udukorwa two kw’ishure abana bakorera muhira. Nimwinezereze muri hamwe: mukine mwongere murabe televiziyo. Ntiwibwire uti: ‘Nzorondera akanya gato mugabo ndagakoreshe neza.’ Ntushobora kwiyegereza abana bawe igihe utamarana na bo umwanya uhagije.”—Lorraine.
Niwiyemeze ko umwana wawe adafise abagenzi bangana gusa.
Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Ubupfu buboheye ku mutima w’umwana.”—Imigani 22:15.
Abavyeyi bamwebamwe barahimbarwa igihe abana babo bafise abagenzi benshi. Ariko rero, numenye ko naho abana boba bafise abagenzi benshi, bakwiye kugira abo mu myaka itandukanye kugira babafashe kuba abantu bahumuye. Kandi abo mu runganwe ntibashobora kuronsa umwana wawe ubuyobozi akeneye nk’ubwo yohabwa n’abavyeyi.
“Naho abo mu runganwe bashobora kuba bazi ibintu bimwebimwe, nta buhanga baba bararonka, ntibaba baramenya utuntu n’utundi canke ngo bagire ubukerebutsi bokwikorako kugira bafashe abandi bakiri bato gufata ingingo zibereye. Igihe rero abakiri bato bisunga ubuyobozi bw’abavyeyi, barakura kandi bakaba abantu bahumuye mu buryo buhuye n’imyaka yabo.”—Nadia.
Nuronse umwana wawe impanuro nziza.
Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Uwugendana n’inkerebutsi azocika inkerebutsi.”—Imigani 13:20.
Naho abana bawe boba bakuze, kumarana umwanya na bo bizobagirira akamaro cane. Nubabere akarorero keza.
“Abana bigana canecane abavyeyi babo. Igihe abana bigishijwe gukunda abavyeyi babo no kububaha, bazokwipfuza kubigana nibakura.”—Katherine.
a Vyakuwe mu gitabu Teen 2.0—Saving Our Children and Families From the Torment of Adolescence.