Kurerera abana mw’isi irekerana ibintu

WOBA urigera witegereza umwana ariko yinginga umuvyeyi wiwe ngo amuronse agakinisho kanaka uwo muvyeyi atipfuza kumugurira? Canke umwana yipfuza kuza arirukanga no kuza arakina mu gihe umuvyeyi wiwe yamubwiye ati: “Tekereza”? Biraboneka yuko mu biringo nk’ivyo uwo muvyeyi aba yipfuza gukora ibintu ku bw’ineza y’umwana wiwe. Naho ari ukwo, akenshi cane usanga uwo muvyeyi ateba akagondozwa. Kubera imyidogo idahera y’uwo mwana, uwo muvyeyi arateba agahindura oya yiwe ikaba ego.

Abavyeyi benshi basa n’abiyumvira yuko kuba umuvyeyi mwiza bisigura kworohera umwana mu bintu nka vyose ashaka. Nk’akarorero, muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika, hari abana 750 bafise imyaka iri hagati ya 12 na 17 babajijwe ibibazo mw’itohoza rimwe. Igihe babazwa ukuntu bavyifatamwo iyo abavyeyi babo babankiye ivyo babasavye, hafi ibice 60 kw’ijana vy’abo bana bavuze ko baca baguma basaba ivyo bintu. Nk’ibice 55 kw’ijana vy’abo bana basanze mwene ubwo buryo akenshi bugira ico bushitseko. Abavyeyi babo boshobora kuba biyumvira yuko mwene ukwo kurekerana ibintu bigaragaza urukundo bafitiye abo bana. Ariko, vyoba ari ukwo biri koko?

Rimbura uyu mugani wa kera uranga ubukerebutsi: “Ūreze umushumba akamufyinisha uhereye mu buto bgiwe, uburuhiro n’ukuzohava [“aba intashima,” NW].” (Imigani 29:21) Ego ni ko umwana si umushumba. Mugabo none, ntiwemera yuko iyo ngingo ngenderwako ikora no ku bijanye no kurera umwana? Gufyinisha abana, ukabemerera ivyo bipfuza vyose, vyoshobora gutuma bakura ari “intashima,” ni ukuvuga bakaba abantu bakuze b’ibifyinate, b’abikunzi kandi badakenguruka.

Igitandukanye n’ivyo, Bibiliya ihanura abavyeyi iti: “Toza umwana indero akwiye kwamana.” (Imigani 22:6) Abavyeyi b’inkerebutsi barisunga ubwo buyobozi, bagashinga amategeko atomoye, adahindagurika kandi ategereka, bakongera bakitwararika ko akurikizwa. Ntibitiranya urukundo n’ukurekerana ibintu; eka mbere ntibaha ibintu abana babo ngo ni uko bidoze, bihaye amaruru canke biyambaguye. Ahubwo, baremeranya n’amajambo Yezu yavuze aranga ubukerebutsi, ayagira ati: “Ijambo ryanyu Ego niribe Ego, Oya yanyu ibe Oya.” (Matayo 5:37) Ariko none, kurera abana bisaba iki? Rimbura iki kigereranyo gikomeye.

‘Nk’imyampi iri mu ntoke’

Ubucuti buri hagati y’umuvyeyi n’umwana, Bibiliya ibudondora mu buryo buca bushira ahabona ko umwana akeneye ubuyobozi bw’umuvyeyi. Zaburi 127:4, 5 igira iti: “Nk’ukw imyampi yo mu ntoke z’[“umugabo w’umuhizi,” NW] iri, ni kw abana bo mu busore bamera. Hahirwa ūfise umutana buzuyemwo.” Abana rero bagereranywa n’imyampi, umuvyeyi na we akagereranywa n’umurwanyi w’umuhizi. Nka kurya nyene umurashi azi ko imyampi yiwe itazogema ku gihamana ico ayitumberejeko, ni ko n’abavyeyi b’abanyarukundo batahura yuko kurera umwana atari igikorwa c’ugutomboza. Baripfuza yuko abana babo bogema ico twovuga ko baba batumberejweko, ni ukuvuga kuba abantu bakuze bafise ubuzima buri n’ico buvuze, bahimbawe kandi bitwararika ibintu. Bipfuza ko abana babo bogira amahitamwo abereye, bakaba inkerebutsi bakongera bakirinda gushikirwa n’ingorane bitari bikenewe, kandi bagashikira imigambi iri n’ico ivuze. Ariko rero, gupfa kwipfuza ibintu nk’ivyo usanga bidahagije.

None ni ibiki bikenewe kugira ngo umwampi ugeme ico uba watumberejweko? Utegerezwa gutegurwa bimwe vyitondewe, ugakingirwa neza, ukongera ugatumberezwa bigiranywe inguvu ku co ugiye kugema. Muri ubwo buryo nyene, kugira ngo urugendo abana barimwo bagana ku kuba abantu bakuze rugende neza, barakeneye gutegurwa, gukingirwa no gutumberezwa. Nimuze turimbure umwumwe wose muri iyo mice itatu ijanye no kurera umwana.

Gutegura umwampi bimwe vyitondewe

Imyampi yakoreshwa n’abarashi bo mu bihe vya Bibiliya yarategurwa bimwe vyitondewe cane. Igice c’umwampi kigizwe n’igiti, icahingurwa kumbure mu giti gihwahutse, categerezwa kubāzwa n’iminwe maze kikagororwa uko bishoboka kwose. Uruhande rumwe rw’uwo mwampi rwategerezwa kuba rusongoye, maze bakawutanaga mu kubohera amubi ku rundi ruhande kugira ngo igihe uzoba umaze kuraswa atume uguma utumbereye, gutyo ugume ugana inzira yawo.

Abavyeyi baripfuza ko abana babo bomera nk’iyo myampi igororotse, ni ukuvuga bakaba abagororotsi, ntibate inzira. Ku bw’ivyo rero, nimba abo bavyeyi ari inkerebutsi ntibazokwirengagiza amakosa akomeye y’abana babo, mugabo bazobafasha babigiranye urukundo kugira ngo bagire ico baryohoye kandi bayakosore. Umuvyeyi ntazobura kugira ibikorwa bitari bike mwene ivyo ku mwana uwo ari we wese, kubera yuko “ubupfu buba buhambiriwe ku mutima w’umwana.” (Imigani 22:15) Ni co gituma Bibiliya ihimiriza abavyeyi gutoza indero abana babo. (Abanyefeso 6:4) Mu vy’ukuri, ugutoza indero kurarangura uruhara ruhambaye mu vyo kubumbabumba no kugorora umuzirikanyi w’umwana be na kamere ziwe.

Ntibitangaje rero kubona mu Migani 13:24 havuga hati: “Ūrinda umwana inkoni aba amwanse, arik’ūmukunda amuhana hakiri kare.” Muri uwo murongo, inkoni yo guhana, ari kwo gutoza indero, igereranya uburyo bwo gukosora uko bwoba bumeze kwose. Igihe umuvyeyi atoza indero umwana abigiranye urukundo, aba arondera gukosora amakosa nka hamwe aretswe agashinga imizi, yohava atuma uwo mwana agira amaganya menshi amaze gushika mu bigero. Mu vy’ukuri, igihe umuvyeyi adahaye umwana mwene ukwo gutozwa indero ntaba amukunda; ariko igihe amutoje indero aba agaragaje urukundo amufitiye.

Umuvyeyi w’umunyarukundo arafasha kandi umwana wiwe gutahura impamvu amategeko aba yashinzwe. Ku bw’ivyo rero, ugutoza indero ntibisaba gusa gutanga amategeko be no guhana, nyabuna igihambaye kuruta, bisaba gufasha umwana gutahura ayo mategeko. Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Umwana afise ugutahura yitondera itegeko.”​—Imigani 28:7, NW.

Ya mubi umurashi yabohera ku myampi yiwe, yarafasha iyo myampi kugenda itumbereye igihe yaba amaze kuyirasa. Muri ubwo buryo nyene, inyigisho zo muri Bibiliya ziva ku washizeho indinganizo y’umuryango zirashobora kugumana n’abana, mbere n’igihe baba bamaze gusohoka, zikabafasha mu buzima bwabo bwose. (Abanyefeso 3:14, 15) Ariko none, abavyeyi bokwiyemeza neza gute ko, tubivuze mu buryo bw’ikigereranyo, izo nyigisho zibohewe vy’ukuri ku bana babo?

Raba impanuro Imana yahaye abavyeyi b’Abisirayeli mu gihe ca Musa. Yavuze iti: “Ayo mabgirizwa mbageze uyu musi, az’ahore ku mitima yanyu: muze mugire umwete wo kuyigisha abana banyu.” (Gusubira mu vyagezwe 6:6, 7) Hariho ibintu bibiri rero abavyeyi bakeneye kugira. Ica mbere, bo ubwabo barakeneye kwiga Ijambo ry’Imana no kurishira mu ngiro, ivyo bikabashikana ku gukunda amategeko y’Imana. (Zaburi 119:97) Bamaze kubigira, bazoba rero bashoboye gushira mu ngiro ibivugwa mu gice ca kabiri c’uwo murongo, ni ukuvuga ‘kugira umwete wo kwigisha’ abana babo amategeko y’Imana. Ivyo bisaba ko abavyeyi binjiza mu mitima y’abana babo agaciro ka mwene ayo mategeko, bakabigira biciye ku kubigisha mu buryo ngirakimazi be no ku kuza barabasubiriramwo.

Biratomoye rero ko ata kintu cigera gita igihe mu bijanye no kwigisha ingingo ngenderwako zo muri Bibiliya canke gutoza umwana indero mu buryo buranga urukundo kugira ngo amakosa akomeye akosorwe. Ubwo ni uburyo buhambaye bwo gutegura abo bana bogereranywa n’imyampi y’agaciro, kugira ngo bagende batumbereye, badahushagirika bagana ku kuba abantu bakuze.

Gukingira umwampi

Reka tugaruke kuri ca kigereranyo kivugwa muri Zaburi 127:4, 5. Niwibuke yuko umurashi yama ‘yuzuza umutana’ wiwe imyampi. Imyampi imaze gutegurwa, yategerezwa guca ikingirwa. Ni co gituma umurashi yayitwara mu mutana, aho bitari guhuta vyoroha ko yononekara canke ivunika. Biri n’ico bivuze kubona Bibiliya ivuga mu buryo menyeshakazoza ko Mesiya ari umwampi usēnye, uwo Se ‘azigamira mu mutana wiwe.’ (Yesaya 49:2) Yehova Imana, we Muvyeyi munyarukundo kuruta abandi bose umuntu yokwiyumvira, yarakingiye vy’ukuri Umwana wiwe mukundwa Yezu, kugira ngo ntashikirwe n’ibintu vyose vyari kumugirira nabi gushika igihe cari carashinzwe c’uko Mesiya yokwiciweko kigeze, nk’uko vyari vyaravuzwe imbere y’igihe. N’igihe nyene Mesiya yicwa, Imana yarakingiye uwo Mwana wayo kugira ngo ntababazwe n’urupfu imyaka yose, imusubiza mw’ijuru ari muzima, kugira ngo abeho ibihe bidahera.

Muri ubwo buryo nyene, abavyeyi beza baritaho ivyo gukingira abana babo akaga bohava batezwa n’iyi si yataye ubuntu. Vyoshobora gushika ko abavyeyi babuza abana babo gukora ibikorwa binaka vyohava bituma baja mu kaga ko gutwarwa n’akosho konona bitari bikenewe. Nk’akarorero, abavyeyi b’inkerebutsi barafatana uburemere iyi ngingo ngenderwako igira iti: “Kwifatanya n’ababi kwonona ingeso nziza.” (1 Abakorinto 15:33) Gukingira abana kugira ngo ntibifatanye n’abantu batibanga ingingo mfatirwako zo muri Bibiliya z’ivy’ukwigenza runtu, vyoshobora kurinda abakiri bato gukora amakosa atari make yohava abakwegera akarambaraye, eka mbere agatuma bahasiga n’ubuzima.

Abana boshobora kutama bakenguruka ugukingirwa bahabwa n’abavyeyi. Nkako, rimwe na rimwe boshobora mbere kubabazwa n’ukwo gukingirwa, kubera yuko gukingira abana bawe akenshi bisigura kubankira ibintu binaka. Umwanditsi umwe yubahwa yandika ibitabu ku bijanye no kurera abana avuga ati: “Naho abana batama berekana ko bakenguruka kandi bishoboka cane ko batazogukengurukira igihe uzoba ugize ikintu kinaka kugira ngo ubakingire, abana baripfuza vy’ukuri ko mu buzima bwabo abavyeyi bobereka uburyo bwo kubaho bubakingira kandi bwo kwizigirwa. Ivyo umuntu yobigira mu kuba umuvyeyi afatana uburemere ibanga ajejwe, agashingira umwana wiwe uturimbi mu bijanye n’ukuntu yigenza.”

Vy’ukuri, gukingira abana banyu ikintu cose cohava gituma batakaza amahoro bafise, ukutiyagiriza kwabo be n’impagararo ityoroye bafise imbere y’Imana, ni uburyo buhambaye bwo kwerekana ko mubakunda. Nibakura, birashoboka ko bazoteba bagatahura igituma mwabaha amategeko, maze bace bakenguruka ukuntu mwabakingiye mu buryo burangwa urukundo.

Gutumbereza umwampi

Urabona ko muri Zaburi 127:4, 5 hagereranya umuvyeyi n’“umugabo w’umuhizi.” None ivyo vyoba bisigura yuko sebibondo wenyene ari we ashobora kuba kirumara mu bijanye n’uruhara rwa kivyeyi? Habe na buhoro! Mu vy’ukuri, iyo ngingo ngenderwako iri muri ico kigereranyo irakora kuri ba sebibondo na ba inabibondo, eka mbere igakora no ku bavyeyi birerana abana. (Imigani 1:8) Imvugo ngo “umugabo w’umuhizi” igomba kwerekana ko gukwega uruvuto kugira ngo umuntu arase umwampi vyasaba inguvu zitari nke. Mu bihe vya Bibiliya, imiheto barayikuyengezako umujumpu, kandi bikaba vyavugwa ko umusoda ‘yahonyora umuheto,’ kumbure akawuhonyoza ukuguru kugira ngo awugonde maze awushireko uruvuto. (Yeremiya 50:14, 29, NW) Birumvikana rero ko umuntu yasabwa gukoresha inguvu nyinshi be n’utwigoro tutari duke kugira ngo akwege urwo ruvuto rwaba runangiriye, gutyo ashobore kurasa iyo myampi ku co yaba ashaka kugema.

No kurera abana bisaba utwigoro dukomeye. Abana ntibashobora kwirera ubwabo, nka kurya nyene umwampi ubwawo udashobora kwirasa ngo ugende ugana ikintu. Ikibabaje ni uko abavyeyi batari bake muri kino gihe basa n’abadashaka kugira utwigoro dukenewe kugira ngo barere abana babo. Bahitamwo kwiyorohereza. Barareka televiziyo, ishure, be n’uruganwe rw’abana babo bikaba ari vyo vyigisha abo bana ibijanye n’iciza n’ikibi, ibijanye n’ukwigenza runtu be n’ibijanye n’igitsina. Baremerera abana babo ivyo babasavye vyose. Vyongeye, igihe babonye ko kuvuga ngo oya biba bisa n’ibitoroshe, baca bapfa kuvuga ngo ego, akenshi bakitwaza yuko badashaka kubabaza abana babo. Tuvugishije ukuri, ukwo kurekerana ibintu ni kwo nyabuna kuzogirira abana ikibi nyaco kandi kimara igihe kinini.

Kurera abana ni igikorwa kitoroshe. Ni ivy’ukuri yuko gukora ico gikorwa n’umutima wacu wose tubifashijwemwo n’ubuyobozi buva mw’Ijambo ry’Imana bisaba utwigoro twinshi, mugabo rero impera zivamwo ni ntangere. Ikinyamakuru kimwe kivuga ivyerekeye abavyeyi (Parents) cavuze giti: “Ivyigwa vyagizwe . . . vyerekanye ko abana barezwe n’abavyeyi b’abanyarukundo mugabo bafatana uburemere ibanga ryabo, ni ukuvuga bashigikira abana babo yamara ntibadohoke ku turimbi babashingira, usanga bamenya cane kw’ishure, barushiriza gutsimbataza kamere zo kubana neza n’abandi, bashimishwa n’ukuntu bameze, kandi muri rusangi bakaba abahimbawe kuruta abana usanga abavyeyi babo barekerana ibintu cane canke bakavya cane.”

Hariho n’iyindi mpera irushirije kuba nziza. Twari twarimbuye igice ca mbere c’icanditswe co mu Migani 22:6, ikigira giti: “Toza umwana indero akwiye kwamana.” Uwo murongo ubandanya n’aya majambo yeza umutima agira ati: “Azorinda asāza atarayivamwo.” None uwo mugani wahumetswe woba utanga icemeza c’uko vyanka vyakunda ibintu bizogenda gutyo? Si ngombwa. Umwana wawe arafise uburenganzira bwo kwihitiramwo kandi niyakura azobukoresha. Ariko uwo murongo uraha abavyeyi umuhango uranga urukundo. Uti ni uwuhe?

Mu gihe ureze abana bawe wisunze impanuro zo muri Bibiliya, uba uriko urashinga umushinge w’ibintu vyiza gusumba ibindi bizotuma haboneka ivyiza ntangere, ivyo na vyo bikaba ari ukubona abana bawe bakura bagacika abantu bahimbawe, bashize akanyota kandi bitaho ibintu. (Imigani 23:24) Ukwo bishoboka kwose rero, nutegure abana bawe bogereranywa n’imyampi y’agaciro, ubakingire wongere ugire utwigoro kugira ngo ubatumbereze. Niwabigira ntuzokwigera wicuza.

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Abavyeyi boba bagaragariza urukundo abana babo mu kubemerera ibintu vyose baba basavye?

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Umuvyeyi w’umunyarukundo arasigurira abana biwe impamvu amategeko yo mu muryango yashinzwe

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Abavyeyi beza barakingira abana babo akaga bohava batezwa n’iyi si yataye ubuntu

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Kurera abana ni igikorwa kitoroshe, mugabo rero impera zivamwo ni ntangere