Ukunandipha Ulwalamano Olufudumeleyo Nabantu Basebukhweni Okanye Abasemzini
UFUJIKO, umolokazana owayebandezelekile okhankanywe kwinqaku lokuqala, ekugqibeleni waphembelela umyeni wakhe ukuba balishiye ikhaya labazali bakhe baze bafudukele elumelwaneni. Kodwa izinto azizange ziphucuke kangako. Ukungenelela kwabantu basemzini wakhe kwaqhubeka, ibe ukudakumba kwakhe kwakuseyinto ekhoyo. Wandula ke ngaminazana ithile watyelelwa ngumntu angamaziyo.
Olo tyelelo lwamenza uFujiko waqalisa ikhondo elaphumela ekubeni aguqule ubuntu bakhe, ibe oku kwaluphucula ulwalamano lwakhe nabanye. Waqalisa ukufundisisa iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, isimo sakhe sengqondo saguquka kangangokuba uyisezala wafuna ukuya kwezi zifundo ukuze azibonele ngokwakhe ukuba ‘lwaluluhlobo luni lonqulo olu lwalubuguqule kangako ubuntu bakhe.’
Ukuqonda Umanyano Olutsha
IBhayibhile inikela umbono ocacileyo ngelungiselelo lomtshato elingokweZibhalo. Emva kokuba uThixo edale isibini sokuqala esingabantu waza wasimanyanisa, waseka lo mgaqo ulandelayo: “Indoda yomshiya uyise nonina, inamathele kumkayo, babe nyama-nye ke.” (Genesis 2:24) Ngoko isibini esitsha simele siqonde ukuba singenele umanyano olutsha. Ngoku simele simanyane njengeqhina elizimeleyo kwanakuba sisenokuhlala nabantu baso basebukhweni okanye abasemzini.
Phofu ke, ukushiya umama notata, akuthethi ukuba abantwana xa betshata banokubanikela umva abazali babo nokuba akusekho mfuneko yokuba babahloniphe baze bababeke. IBhayibhile iyayalela, “Ungamdeli unyoko akuba mkhulu.” (IMizekeliso 23:22) Kanti, emtshatweni, kukho uhlengahlengiso kulwalamano. Lo gama lungu ngalinye lentsapho likugcina kakuhle oku engqondweni, isibini esiselula sinokungenelwa kumava nakubulumko babazali.
UTimoti, umfana oselula owayenodumo oluhle lowo umpostile uPawulos wamthabathayo ukuze ahambe naye kuhambo lwakhe lobuvangeli basemazweni, wakhuliswa ngunina owayengumYuda, uYunike. Noko ke, kuyabonakala ukuba uninakhulu uLoyisi wakwancedisa ekuxonxeni ubomi bakhe. (2 Timoti 1:5; 3:15) Oku akuthethi ukuba oomakhulu banelungelo lokungenelela ekuqeqeshweni komntwana baze babeke imilinganiselo eyahlukileyo kuleyo yabazali. Kukho indlela efanelekileyo isizukulwana esikhulileyo esinokubanceda ngayo abaselula ekuqeqesheni abantwana.—Tito 2:3-5.
“Ubulumko Bomfazi”
Ukuba izizukulwana ezibini ziza kusebenzisana kumbandela ochukumis’ iimvakalelo ngokulula ngolo hlobo onjengokuqeqesha umntwana, zozibini zimele zenze ngobulumko. Umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi, “Ubulumko bomfazi buyayakha indlu yakhe; ukumatha kuyayichitha ngezakhe izandla.” (IMizekeliso 14:1) Umfazi unokuyakha njani indlu yakhe? UTomiko uthi yaba kukuncokolisana okwamncedayo ukuba alungise ulwalamano lwakhe nomolokazana wakhe, uFujiko. IBhayibhile iyaluleka, “Iingcinga ziyatshitsha ngokungabikho kokucweya.”—IMizekeliso 15:22.
Ukuncokolisana akuthethi ukukhupha yonke into esengqondweni yakho ngaphandle kokucingela iimvakalelo zabanye. Kulapho busebenza khona ubulumko. ‘Osisilumko uya kukuphulaphula’ oko abanye baza kukuthetha. Maxa wambi abantu basebukhweni okanye abasemzini banokuba nokuthile abafuna ukukuthetha, kodwa bathandabuze ukuyiphalaza imbilini yabo. Yiba ngoqondayo, uze ‘uzirhole iingcinga zabo.’ Yandula ke ‘ucamngce’ ngaphambi kokuba uthethe.—IMizekeliso 1:5; 15:28; 20:5.
Ukuzilawula kubaluleke gqitha. Umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi, “Ziilamuni zegolide kwizitya zesilivere ezimakhazikhazi ilizwi elithethwe latyapha.” (IMizekeliso 25:11) UTokiko nomolokazana wakhe bathi balinda de kube lixesha elifanelekileyo ngaphambi kokuba baphalaze izimvo ezisenokungamphathi kakuhle omnye. UTokiko uthi, “Ndizama ukucinga ngaphambi kokuba ndithethe xa ndifuna ukuthetha okuthile kumolokazana wam. Ezi ngongoma ndiyazigcina engqondweni yam ndize ndizithethe xa ekwisimo esilungileyo naxa engakhatywanga liNxele likaKhetsekile. Uyazi, kulula ukucaphuka xa ulambile.”
Umfazi osisilumko akayi kuthetha kakubi ngabantu basemzini wakhe. USumie Tanaka, umbhali waseJapan owahlala noninazala kangangeminyaka engama-30 uthi, “Enoba singoomamazala okanye oomolokazana, sifanele sazi ukuba nayiphi na into embi esiyithethayo ngomnye, ekugqibeleni uya kuyazi.” Endaweni yoko, uxhasa ukuba uthethe kakuhle ngabantu basebukhweni okanye abasemzini ubabona ungababoni.
Ngoko, kuthekani, ukuba abantu basebukhweni okanye abasemzini abasabeli kwimigudu yakho?
Yiba Ngoxolelayo
Iingxaki ezinzulu nabantu basebukhweni okanye abasemzini ngokufuthi zibangelwa zizinto ebezingayi kubangela ngxaki ukuba bezisenziwa okanye zithethwa nguthile ongomnye. Ekubeni sonke singafezekanga ibe ‘sikhubeka ezwini,’ ngamaxesha athile ‘sisenokuphololoza njengokuhlaba kwekrele.’ (Yakobi 3:2; IMizekeliso 12:18) Ukanti, kububulumko ukungaphazanyiswa kuko konke ukuphololoza.
Abo baye bazoyisa iingxaki ababa nazo nabantu basebukhweni okanye abasemzini baye bathobela isiluleko seBhayibhile esithi: “Ninyamezelana, nixolelana, ukuba ubani uthi abe nokusola ngakubani.” (Kolose 3:13) Kuyinyaniso ukuba, kusenokungabi lula ukunyamezela abantu basebukhweni bakho okanye abasemzini wakho uze ubaxolele, ngokukodwa xa kukho unobangela wokukhalaza. Kodwa into enokukukhuthaza ngamandla ekwenzeni njalo sisiqinisekiso sokuba siya kuthi ngoko sixolelwe nguThixo ngenxa yeziphoso zethu.—Mateyu 6:14, 15.
Kwanakumazwe aseMpumalanga, apho abantu ngokwesithethe balandela ubuBhuda, ubuTao, ubuConfucius, nobuShinto, kukho abaninzi abaye bafundisisa iBhayibhile baze bayixabisa inyaniso engoMdali onesisa. Uxabiso olunjalo luye lwabanceda ukuba boyise iimvakalelo zobukrakra ezibonakala zingenakoyiswa.
“Uthando Aluze Lutshitshe”
Ukuba nolwalamano olonwabisayo nabantu basebukhweni okanye abasemzini kufuna isiseko esiqinileyo. Ukunceda abantu basebukhweni nabasemzini abakhulileyo okanye abagulayo ngengqiqo yokuba kuyimbopheleleko akusoloko kulwenza ulwalamano lube lolona lulungileyo. UHaruko wakuqonda oku xa uninazala wayekwimeko emandundu ngenxa yesifo somhlaza. Wayechitha usuku lwakhe lonke esibhedlele enyamekela uninazala, ibe ukongezelela, wayenyamekela intsapho yakhe. Wayephantsi koxinezeleko kangangokuba wade ekugqibeleni wawelwa ziinwele zakhe.
Ngenye imini ngoxa wayecheba iinzipho zikaninazala, wathi engenzi ngabom wamsika kabuhlungu. Uninazala wamngxolisa esithi, “Ngokwenene akundikhathalelanga!”
Othuswe ngaloo mazwi angenaluxabiso, uHaruko akazange azibambe iinyembezi zakhe. Wandula ke waqonda ukuba la mazwi ayemenzakalisa gqitha ngenxa yokuba wayemenzela yonke into uninazala kuba kwakuyimbopheleleko yakhe ukwenjenjalo. Wagqiba ekubeni avumele intshukumisa enamandla yenkonzo yakhe ibe yileyo iqhutywa luthando. (Efese 5:1, 2) Oku kwamenza wakwazi ukoyisa iimvakalelo zakhe zokwenzakala kwaza oko kwaphumela kulwalamano olubuyiselweyo noninazala de wambatha ingubo kaqaqaqa.
Eneneni, njengoko luchazwe eBhayibhileni uthando lusisikhokelo sokuthomalalisa iingxwabangxwaba ezibakho entsatsheni. Funda oko umpostile uPawulos akutshoyo ngalo, uze ubone ukuba akuvumelani nako kusini na. Wabhala, “Uthando luzeka kade umsindo, lunobubele. Uthando alunamona; uthando alugwagwisi; alukhukumali; alwenzi okuziintloni; alufuni okukokwalo kodwa; alucaphuki; alunanzondo; aluvuyeli kungalungisi; luvuyisana nenyaniso. Luthwala iinto zonke; lukholwa ziinto zonke; luthemba iinto zonke; lunyamezela iinto zonke.” Alimangalisi elokuba uPawulos abe wongezelela esithi: “Uthando aluze lutshitshe.” (1 Korinte 13:4-8) Unokuluhlakulela njani uthando olunjalo?
IBhayibhile iludwelisa “uthando” njengenxalenye ‘yeziqhamo’ zomoya kaThixo. (Galati 5:22, 23) Ngaloo ndlela, ukongezelela kwimigudu yakho, kubalulekile ukuba nomoya kaThixo ukuba ufuna ukuhlakulela olo hlobo lothando. Ngaphezu koko, unokucela uYehova, uThixo weBhayibhile, ukuba akuncede ukuba wongezelele olu thando lufana nolwakhe kubuntu bakho. (1 Yohane 4:8) Kambe ke, konke oku, kufuna ukuba ufunde ngaye ngokufundisisa iLizwi lakhe, iBhayibhile. AmaNgqina kaYehova aya kukonwabela ngokona kona ukukunceda, njengoko enjenjalo kuFujiko nakwabanye abaninzi.
Njengoko ukusebenzisa oko ukufundayo eBhayibhileni, uya kufumanisa ukuba akuyi kuphucula ulwalamano lwakho noThixo nje kuphela kodwa uya kwenjenjalo nakulwalamano lwakho kunye nabani na okungqongileyo, kuquka nabantu basebukhweni bakho okanye abasemzini wakho. Uya kufumana oko iBhayibhile ikuthembisayo, okukoku, “uxolo lukaThixo, olugqithisele kuko konke ukuqonda.”—Filipi 4:6, 7.
UFujiko kwanabanye abakhankanywe kula manqaku baye balunandipha uxolo olunjalo—ibe nawe unokwenjenjalo. Ewe, ngokukhangela kuYehova uThixo nangokulandela isiluleko seLizwi lakhe, iBhayibhile, nawe unokwakha uze ulondoloze ulwalamano olufudumeleyo nabantu basebukhweni bakho okanye abasemzini wakho.
[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 24, 25]
Ngaba Indoda—Ingumbangeli Okanye Umchithachithi Woxolo?
Xa izizukulwana ezibini okanye ezithathu zihlala ndlwini-nye, indima yendoda ekulondolozeni uxolo lwentsapho ayifanele ityeshelwe. Ngokuphathelele uhlobo lwendoda oluyiphephayo imbopheleleko yayo uNjingalwazi uTohru Arichi weYunivesithi yaseKyushu, oyingcali kwinzululwazi ngoluntu, uyabhala:
“Xa isibini sihlala [nomama], umama uyazazi iintswelo zonyana wakhe, ibe uthi engenzi ngabom amnyamekele unyana wakhe xa ezibona ezo ntswelo. Engaphozisanga maseko unyana uyakwamkela oko kunyanyekelwa. Ukuba unyana ebeya kucinga ngokungakumbi ngemeko yomfazi wakhe aze abeke unina endaweni emfaneleyo ngokuphathelele oko kungenelela kwakhe, ingxaki ibiya kuconjululwa. Ngokulusizi nangokufuthi ngakumbi, unyana akakuqondi oko.”
Ngoko, indoda inokuba nayo njani indima ebalaseleyo ekwenzeni uxolo kwintsapho yayo? UMitsuharu uthi ukusebenzisa kwakhe imigaqo yeBhayibhile kwayinceda intsapho yakhe. Uyavuma ukuba, “Umanyano oluphakathi kukamama nonyana wakhe lomelele ngokugqithiseleyo kwanokuba uye wakhulela ekubeni ngumntu omdala, ngoko unyana umele enze umgudu wobulumko wokuba ‘ashiye unina noyise aze anamathele kumkakhe.’” Wawusebenzisa lo mgaqo ngokuxubusha imicimbi ephathelele ukunyanyekelwa nokuqeqeshwa komntwana nomkakhe kuphela, ibe akazange athelekise umkakhe nonina ngomsebenzi wasekhaya. Uyaqhubeka, “Ngoku, thina nabazali bam siyahlonelana. Ngamnye wethu uyazi apho amele ukungenelela khona nalapho uncedo nokusebenzisana kuza kuba kokuxatyiswayo khona.”
Ukongezelela ‘ekunamatheleni kumfazi wayo,’ indoda imele ibe ngumlamli phakathi komama wayo nomfazi wayo. (Genesis 2:24) Kufuneka ibe ngumphulaphuli olungileyo ize ibavumele ukuba baphalaze imbilini yabo kuyo. (IMizekeliso 20:5) Enye indoda, eye yafunda ukuzisingatha ngobuchule iimeko, okokuqala ifumanisa indlela avakalelwa ngayo umkayo. Yandule ke ithi, ekho umfazi wayo, ithethe nomama wayo ngembambano ebandakanyekileyo. Ngokuyisebenzisa ngentshukumisa yobulungisa ngaloo ndlela indima yakhe njengombangeli woxolo, unyana usenokunceda ekwakheni ulwalamano olumanyanisayo ekhayeni phakathi kwabafazi ababini abathandayo.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 25]
Phulaphula ngeendlebe uze uncokole
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]
Uthando, kungekhona imvakalelo yokuba nembopheleleko, lwakha ulwalamano oluhle