Phunziro 16

Makambirano Olimbikitsa

1, 2. Kodi makambirano athu ayenera kukhala otani?

¹ M’kukambirana kwathu kwa tsiku ndi tsiku timakhala ndi mwayi wolemekezera Mulungu. Wamasalmo wa m’Baibulo analemba kuti: “Mwa Mulungu tizitamanda tsiku lonse, ndipo dzina lanu tidzaliyamika kosatha.” Kodi amenewo sindiwo maganizo otamandika ofunikira kukhala ndi alambiri onse a Mulungu? Inde, chifukwa amaonetsa mtima wofuna kugwiritsa ntchito milomo kuchirikiza chifuniro cha Yehova.—Sal. 44:8.

² Mtima woterowo ndi wofunika kwambiri, pakuti chifukwa chopanda ungwiro tingakhale ndi chilakolako choti tinene mawu ena amene angavulaze ena m’malo mowalimbikitsa. (Yak. 3:8-12) Ndicho chifukwa chake m’pofunika nthaŵi zonse kukumbukira langizo la m’Malemba loti tilankhule ‘zomangirira monga mofunika, kuti zipatse chisomo kwa iwo akumva.’—Aef. 4:29.

3, 4. Kupatulapo kulankhula, kodi kukambirana kumaphatikizaponso chiyani, ndipo mipata yochita zimenezo tingaipeze kuti?

³ M’pofunikanso kukumbukira kuti kukambirana kumaphatikizaponso kumvetsera, pakuti kukambirana ndi njira imodzi yopatsana maganizo. Lankhulani zolimbikitsa, komanso patsani ena mpata woti alankhule maganizo awo. Kulitsani luso lofunsa mafunso oyenerera, olimbikitsa wolankhulayo kunena zakukhosi. Ndiyeno onetsani chidwi chenicheni pazimene akunena, osati kuti pamene iye akulankhula inu n’kutanganidwa ndi kuganizira zina zoti munene. Kuonetsa kwanu chidwi choterocho pa malingaliro a ena kudzawalimbikitsa.

⁴ Mipata ilipo yambiri ya makambirano olimbikitsana. Mwachitsanzo, pamene muli panyumba ndi banja; pamene muli ndi antchito anzanu kapena akusukulu anzanu; ndiponso poyanjana ndi okhulupirira anzanu. Nkhani zambiri m’sukulu yateokalase zimatipatsa mipata yokulitsira luso la kukambirana.

5-7. Muganiza n’chiyani chingalimbikitse kukambirana pabanja, makamaka panthaŵi ya chakudya?

⁵ Panyumba. Kukambirana kwabwino panyumba kumalimbikitsa chimwemwe cha m’banja, n’chifukwa chake m’pofunika kuyesetsa kuti kuzikhalapo. Mwamuna ndi mkazi amamva bwino pamene onse aŵiri aonetsana chidwi pazimene akunena. Ndipo ananso amayamikira pamene makolo awo amvetsera zimene anawo akunena ndi kukhala nawo ndi chidwi chenicheni. Koma ngati pamene wina alankhula kwa inu, inu n’kum’dula mawu, kapena n’kumasanthula masamba a magazini, kapena m’njira inayake muonetsa kum’nyalanyaza, posakhalitsa kukambirana kudzawonongeka m’nyumba mwanu. Palibe wina aliyense amene amasangalala kulankhula ndi munthu wosafuna kumva zimene iye akunena.

⁶ Nthaŵi za chakudya zimakhala mipata yabwino ya makambirano a banja olimbikitsana. Pachakudya chimodzi tsiku lililonse mungamakambirane lemba la tsikulo m’kabuku ka Kusanthula Malemba Tsiku ndi Tsiku. Panthaŵi zina za chakudya, kungakhale kosangalatsa ndi kopindulitsa kukambirana nkhani zina za m’makope atsopano a Nsanja ya Olonda kapena Galamukani! Koma musachititse kukambirana panthaŵi ya chakudya kukhala ngati phunziro lenileni moti palibe kumasuka kolankhula nkhani wamba ndi kusangalala ndi chakudya.

⁷ Mwachibadwa wina aliyense m’banja angabweretsepo nkhani yake pakukambirana kolimbikitsana panthaŵi ya chakudya. Imeneyi si nthaŵi yopereka madandaulo; kuteroko kungalepheretse chakudya kuti chipukusike bwino m’mimba. Koma m’kati mwa tsiku munthu amamva zinthu zophunzitsa, kapena zoseketsa. Mwina angakhale ndi chokumana nacho chokondweretsa mu utumiki wakumunda. Mwina anaŵerenga nkhani ina yokondweretsa m’nyuzipepala kapena anaimva pa wailesi. Bwanji osaisunga m’maganizo kuti muuzeko ena a m’banja panthaŵi ya chakudya? Ngati zimenezo zichitika, mudzaona kuti posapita nthaŵi wina aliyense azilakalaka nthaŵi ya chakudya, chifukwa cha makambirano abwino, osati kuti adye msangamsanga ndi kuchoka ayi.

8-10. N’chifukwa ninji kuli kofunika kuti pazikhala makambirano aumwini pakati pa makolo ndi ana, ndipo makolo angalimbikitse motani zimenezo?

⁸ Ponena za makolo, n’kofunika kuti kholo lizikhala ndi kukambirana ndi mwana aliyense payekha, pamene palibe ena onse a m’banjalo. Pamakhala zotsatirapo zabwino pamene kuchitidwa ali pamkhalidwe womasuka, kaya ndi panyumba kapena kokawongola miyendo. Makambirano oterowo amapereka mwayi wokonzekeretsa mwanayo za kusintha kwa thupi kumene adzaona pamene akukula. Ndiponso makambirano oterowo amavumbula zimene zili mumtima wa mwana, zofuna zake zenizeni ndi zolinga zake pamoyo, ndipo umakhala mwayi woti mumuwongolere kuti atsate zimenezo m’njira yopindulitsa.

⁹ Ngati mwana wanu atchula mavuto ena amene wagweramo chifukwa cha khalidwe lake, musafulumire kum’kalipira. Kuteroko mwina kudzathetsa makambiranowo nthaŵi yomweyo. Ndipo, pokumbukira zimenezo, mwanayo sangadzatchulenso nkhani imeneyo nthaŵi ina iliyonse. Nthaŵi zonse kumakhala bwino kuyamba mwamvetsera ndi kufunsa mafunso openda amene amasonyeza kuti mukumvetsa. Pambuyo pake m’pamene muyenera kumuwongolera mokoma mtima komabe molimba mmene wasokerera pa ziphunzitso za Baibulo.

¹⁰ Ngakhale kuti kukambirana n’kofunika kwambiri kuti banja likhale lachimwemwe, sizikutanthauza kuti muzingolankhula nthaŵi ina iliyonse. Ndi iko komwe, nthaŵi zina ndi bwino kungokhala phe ndi maganizo anu, mukumasinkhasinkha zinthu mwakachetechete. Choncho a m’banja amadziŵa kuti nthaŵi zina m’pofunika kukhala chete.

11, 12. Ndi mipata inanso yotani imene ilipo yochitira umboni, kupatulapo utumiki wakumunda wa nthaŵi zonse?

¹¹ Kupeza mipata yochitira umboni. Kodi luso la kukambirana mwachibadwa limakhudza motani ulaliki wa munthu? Eya, kodi mwakhala mukudabwa kuti nanga n’chifukwa chiyani Mboni zina nthaŵi zonse zimakhala ndi zokumana nazo zabwino? Kodi si chifukwa chakuti iwo ndiwo amayambitsa makambirano? Mwambi wa Baibulo umati: “Milomo ya anzeru iwanditsa nzeru.”—Miy. 15:7.

¹² Ngakhale kupatulapo utumiki wakumunda wanthaŵi zonse, ilipo mipata ina yambiri yoloŵetsera anthu m’makambirano ndi kulankhula nawo za Yehova. Mwachitsanzo, akazi achikristu apanyumba, angachitire umboni kwa anansi okhala pafupi nawo kapena ogulitsa malonda amene angafike panyumba. Ana angakhale ndi mwayi wokambirana ndi anzawo a kusukulu za Baibulo popita kusukulu kapena panthaŵi yopuma. Ndipo aja opita kuntchito angachitire umboni kwa antchito anzawo, mwina popuma masana. Ngakhale pocheza m’paki, mutaima pamzera m’sitolo kapena pokwerera basi, n’kotheka kukambirana ndi ena zinthu zolimbikitsa. M’maiko ena, kumene ntchito yolalikira Ufumu ili yoletsedwa, utumiki umachitika kwakukulukulu m’njira ya makambirano a mwamwayi. Umboni wakuti ulaliki umenewu ndi wogwira mtima ukuonekera m’chiwonjezeko chomakula mofulumira kwambiri cha atumiki a Mulungu woona m’mayiko amenewo.

13-16. Ndi njira zotani zimene tingayambitsire makambirano otsegulira ulaliki?

¹³ Kuti tigwiritse ntchito mikhalidwe yolekanalekana kuperekera umboni, tingangofuna mawu aubwenzi kuti “titsegule wina pakamwa,” kunena kwake titero, ndipo makambirano adzayambika. Yesu anapereka chitsanzo pa chimenechi. Nthaŵi ina masana ataima pachitsime m’Samariya kuti apume, anapempha madzi akumwa kwa mkazi wina amene anadzatunga madzi. Popeza kuti Ayuda sankalankhulana wamba ndi Asamariya, zimenezi zinam’dabwitsa mkazi uja. Iyeyo anafunsa funso. Yesu anayankha akumanena kuti iye ali ndi madzi opatsa moyo wosatha, akumakulitsa chidwi cha mkazi uja. Mapeto ake anali akuti mwayi unatseguka wakuti Yesu achitire umboni kwa iye. Onani kuti iye sanayambe ndi umboni wautali; anagwiritsa ntchito kukambirana kwaubwenzi kuti atsegulire njira.—Yoh. 4:5-42.

¹⁴ Inunso mutha kuyambitsa makambirano olimbikitsa oterowo. Poyembekeza basi mukhoza kusonyeza munthu wina nkhani ina m’nyuzipepala kapena m’magazini yonena za vuto lina lake monga kuwononga mpweya, madzi, nthaka, kapena yonena za nkhondo, ndi kum’funsa kuti: “Muganiza n’chifukwa chiyani mavuto amenewa akula choncho m’zaka zinozi? Kodi muganiza idzafika nthaŵi pamene dziko lonse lidzakhala malo a mtendere?” Kumakhalanso kogwira mtima kuyamba mwa kufotokoza vuto lina limene likuchitika kwanuko, ndi kufunsa kuti: “Muganiza vuto limeneli lingathe bwanji?” Zimenezi zidzatsogolera mosavuta ku makambirano a chothetsera vuto chenicheni—ufumu wa Mulungu. Komabe m’pofunika kusamala. N’kosayenera kuumiriza munthu kulankhula pamene sakuyankha. Koma mudzapeza kuti ena amamvetsera mokondwa, monga momwe anachitira mkazi wachisamariya pachitsime paja.

¹⁵ Njira ina yopezera mipata yokambirana Mawu a Mulungu ndiyo kuika mabuku ophunzirira Baibulo pamalo oonekera kwa ena. Pamene muchita zimenezi m’nyumba, alendo kaŵirikaŵiri amafunsa za mabukuwo, akumatsegulira njira yoperekera umboni wabwino. Ngati mumapita kusukulu, buku kapena magazini imene mungasiye pa desiki lanu mwachidziŵikire ingapangitse wina kufunsa kuti, “Ndi buku lanji limeneli?” Pamenepo inu mwayi mwaupeza woti mumuuze, ndi kupereka umboni. Kapena ngati mukuŵerenga buku lophunzirira Baibulo panthaŵi yopuma masana kapena poyenda pabasi, zimenezo zingayambitse makambirano a za ufumu wa Mulungu kwa anthu ofunsa.

¹⁶ Pokambirananso ndi anthu odziŵana nawo n’kotheka kulankhulanso za choonadi cha Baibulo. Makambirano oterowo kaŵirikaŵiri amaphatikizapo zimene anthu anachita—kumene anapita, zimene anamva kapena kuona—kapena zinthu zimene akufuna kuchita. Choncho pamene mukhala ndi mwayi wolankhula, bwanji osalankhula zimene mwakhala mukuchita? Mutachoka kumsonkhano wadera, uzani wantchito mnzanu kapena mnansi wapafupi za kumene munapita ndi mutu wa nkhani yaikulu; iye angakhale ndi mafunso pa zimenezo. Tchulani kwa ena zimene munaŵerenga mu Nsanja ya Olonda kapena Galamukani! monganso mmene iwo amakuuzirani zimene amachita. Ngati mwadzutsa chidwi mwa iwo, adzafunsa kuti adziŵe zambiri. Pamenepo mwapeza mwayi woti mupereke umboni woŵirikiza. Makambirano oterowo onena za zifuniro za Mulungu alidi olimbikitsa.

17-20. Kodi ndi nkhani zotani zimene zingachititse makambirano olimbikitsana pamene muli ndi Mboni zinzanu?

¹⁷ Pamene tili ndi okhulupirira anzathu. Pamene tili limodzi ndi abale ndi alongo athu auzimu, m’pofunikanso kuti kukambirana kwathu kuzikhala kwabwino kwambiri, koyenera alaliki a uthenga wabwino. Cholinga chathu chisamangokhala kucheza basi, komanso kulimbikitsana.

¹⁸ Mipata yabwino ya makambirano olimbikitsana imakhalapo misonkhano isanayambe ndi pambuyo pake ku Nyumba ya Ufumu. Chisakhale chizoloŵezi chanu kumachoka mofulumira misonkhano itangotha. Bwanji osachezapo kaye ndi abale achikulire ndi odziŵa zinthu, komanso ndi aja omwe angakhale amanyazi okonda kukhala paokha? Nkhani zocheza n’zambirimbiri. Mungakambirane mfundo zosangalatsa za m’makope aposachedwa a Nsanja ya Olonda. Mungalankhule za nkhani imene munapatsidwa kudzakamba m’Sukulu ya Utumiki Wateokalase. Ena angakhale ndi mfundo zatsopano zimene mungagwiritse ntchito m’nkhani yanu, kapena mungapereke maganizo anu pothandiza wina pankhani yake. Tingasimbiranenso zokumana nazo za m’munda, kapena mungalankhule za mbali ina imene mwasangalala nayo kwambiri pamsonkhano tsikulo. Makambirano oterowo amalimbikitsadi.

¹⁹ Pamisonkhano yaikulu pamakhala mipata yabwino yokambirana ndi abale ndi alongo ochokera m’malo osiyanasiyana. Mboni zambiri zimakhala ndi cholinga choyambitsa makambirano pamzera wogulira zakudya kapena ali paulendo wopita kumalo a msonkhano kapena pobwerako. Njira imodzi yabwino yoyambira makambirano ndiyo kuuza mbale kapena mlongo dzina lanu, kenako kufunsa lake. Funsani mmene anakhalira Mboni. Zimenezo kaŵirikaŵiri zimafikitsa ku makambirano osangalatsa ndi olimbikitsa.

²⁰ Popitanso mu utumiki wakumunda pamakhala mpata wa makambirano opindulitsa. M’malo mongokambirana nkhani wamba, bwanji osakambirana za mmene mungafikire eninyumba m’deralo, kapena za nkhani zimene zingakhale zoyenera kwambiri kulankhula ndi anthu. Ndi bwinonso kukambirana mmene angayankhire mafunso otsutsa amene angakumane nawo. Kumakhaladi kotsitsimutsa ndi koyenera kuganizira ndi kulankhula nkhani zauzimu panthaŵi zoterozo.—Afil. 4:8, 9.

21-24. Ngati makambirano pakati pa kagulu sakhalanso olimbikitsa, kodi ife patokha tiyenera kuchitapo chiyani?

²¹ Ngati mupezeka kuti muli pakati pa abale ndi alongo ndiyeno muona kuti makambirano amene alipo pamenepo akuloŵa kutchire, titero kunena kwake, kapena sakukhalanso olimbikitsa kwenikweni, kodi inuyo mungatani? Bwanji osayesa kudzutsa funso limene lingakokere makambiranowo kunjira zopindulitsa? Yambitsani nkhani ina ndi kufunsapo mafunso. Makambirano oterowo amakhala opindulitsa kwambiri ngati anthu onsewo omwe alipo asumika maganizo pankhani imodzi pakanthaŵi, mukumapereka mpata kwa mmodzi ndi mmodzi kuti akambepo.

²² Ngati makambiranowo akunena za ena mumpingo wachikristu, m’pofunika kusamala kuti pasakhale kuchotsera ena ulemu kapena kuwasuliza, m’malo monena zolimbikitsa. Ngati wina angayambe kunena pa zophophonya za wina, kodi mudzalimba mtima ndi kukokeranso nkhaniyo kunjira yolimbikitsana? Kodi mudzakhala wokhulupirika ku gulu la Yehova ndi kuteteza mmodzi wa iwo? Wina anganene kuti, imeneyo ndi nkhani yaing’ono kwambiri. Koma si yaing’ono kwenikweni makamaka pokumbukira kuti kufunira chifukwa mmodzi wa atumiki odzipatulira a Mulungu kungayambitse kudandaula kotsutsana ndi kakonzedwe ka Mulungu!—Yak. 5:9; 2 Akor. 10:5.

²³ Nthaŵi zina makambirano angakhale ongoseka basi, ndipo pangakhalenso nkhani zoseketsa. Makambirano oterowo angakhale osangalatsa ndi opindulitsanso. Komabe m’pofunika kusamala kuti asaloŵe kutchire ndi kukhala nkhani yosayenera atumiki achikristu. Tiyenera kukumbukira uphungu wa Baibulo wakuti: “Dama ndi chidetso chonse, kapena chisiriro, zisatchulidwe ndi kutchulidwa komwe mwa inu, monga kuyenera oyera mtima; kapena chinyanso, ndi kulankhula zopanda pake, kapena zopusa zimene siziyenera; koma makamaka chiyamiko.”—Aef. 5:3, 4.

²⁴ Choncho, monga atumiki a Yehova, lolani kuti makambirano athu nthaŵi zonse akhale opereka ulemu kwa Iye. Mwa kutero, tidzakhala tikutsatanso uphungu wabwino wolembedwa ndi mtumwi Paulo wakuti: “Yense wa ife akondweretse mnzake, kum’chitira zabwino, zakum’limbikitsa.”—Aroma 15:2.