Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingakhale Bwanji Wachimwemwe Pamene Ndikukhala ndi Kholo Limodzi Lokha?

“Achichepere okhala ndi makolo aŵiri angakhale ndi zipinda zawozawo ndikugula zovala zatsopano. Koma ine ndimafunikira kugawana chipinda; sindimapeza konse zovala zimene ndimazifuna. Amayi amati sangathe kuzigula. Pokhala ndi ntchito zonsezi panyumba zimene ndimafunikira kuzichita pamene iwo ali kuntchito, ndimadzimva ngati ndine wantchito—ngati kuti ndikumanidwa mbali ina ya ubwana wanga.”—Shalonda, wazaka zakubadwa 13.

BANJA lamakolo aŵiri nlabwino. Makolo aŵiri achikondi kaŵirikaŵiri angapereke chitsogozo, chinjirizo, ndi chilikizo lochuluka kuposa limene kholo limodzi lingapereke. “Aŵiri aposa mmodzi,” likutero Baibulo, “chifukwa onse pamodzi angagwire ntchito mokhutiritsa kwenikweni.”—Mlaliki 4:9, Today’s English Version.

Pamenepo, nzosadabwitsa kuti mosasamala kanthu za kuwonjezeka kopambanitsa kwa mabanja a kholo limodzi, achichepere ambiri amachita manyazi kukhala m’mabanja oterowo. Iwo angaganize kuti sali okonzekera kulaka zitsenderezo ndi mavuto ochititsidwa ndi moyo woterowo. Pamenepo, kodi bwanji ngati mikhalidwe yomwe simungathe kuilamulira ikulandani chikondi ndi chisamaliro cha mmodzi wa makolo anu? Kodi ndiye kuti mwaweruzidwiratu ku chisoni? Kutalitali.

Zambiri zimadalira pa mmene mumawonera mkhalidwewo. Miyambo 15:15 ikuti: “Masiku onse a wosauka ali oipa; koma wokondwera mtima ali ndi phwando losatha.” Mogwirizana ndi lamulo lamakhalidwe abwino limeneli, Dr. Helen Mendes akuti: “Mabanja a kholo limodzi ayenera kudzilingalira okha kukhala matimu ndikudzivomereza okha kukhala mabanja olimba,” osati nyumba zosweka. Iye akuwonjezera kuti: “Mabanja oterowo ali ndi maganizo osiyana kotheratu ndi kawonedwe ka moyo pamene ayamba kudzilingalira okha kukhala magulu olandirika mwamayanjano.” Koma kodi nzothekadi kukhala ndi lingaliro labwino loterolo?

Mtundu—Osati Unyinji

Ofufuza a magazini a Family Relations akutikumbutsa kuti: “Kukhalamo kwa makolo aŵiri m’nyumba sikumatsimikizira kuti chikondi, kusamaliridwa koyenera ndi chitsogozo chanzeru zikuperekedwa.” Iwo akudziŵitsanso kuti: “Kholo lomwe liripo mwakuthupi panyumba lingakhale palibepo mwamalingaliro [mwamaganizo] nthaŵi zambiri.” Chotero, chimwemwe chanu chimadalira, osati pa unyinji wa makolo amene mumakhala nawo, koma pa mtundu wa kholo kapena makolo amene mumakhala nawo panyumba ndi chikondwerero ndi nkhaŵa imene amasonyeza mu ubwino wanu. Katswiri wa zamalingaliro Richard A. Gardner anafotokoza kuti: “Makolo oipa, kaya ndi mmodzi kapena aŵiri, amapangitsa ana awo kukhala opanda chimwemwe; ndipo makolo abwino, kaya ndi mmodzi kapena aŵiri, amathandiza ana awo kukula athanzi ndi achimwemwe.” Ndipo makolo okhala okha kaŵirikaŵiri amapanga zoyesayesa zokhumbirika zakupatsa ana awo chisamaliro chofunikira.

Melanie wa zaka zakubadwa khumi mphambu zisanu ndi ziŵiri akuti: “Sichinakhale chopepuka chiyambire pamene atate wanga anatisiya. Chakhaladi chovuta kwambiri kwa amayi anga chifukwa chakuti amagwira ntchito tsopano. Koma timapita ku misonkhano yathu Yachikristu ndipo timakhala ndi maphunziro Abaibulo okhazikika, chinthu chomwe sitinkachita kaŵirikaŵiri pamene bambo anga ankakhala nafe.” Iye akuwonjezera kuti: “Timachita zinthu zambiri monga banja, ndipo ndife oyandikana kwenikweni. Ndithudi, ndimaŵalakalaka bambo anga, koma ndine wachimwemwe kukhala ndi amayi anga.” Ngati kholo lanu limodzilo likupanga kuyesayesa kofananako kukulerani ‘m’maleredwe ndi m’chilangizo cha Yehova,’ mungakulebe ndikupambana ngakhale kuti mkhalidwe wa banja lanu siwabwino.—Aefeso 6:4.

Kukhutira Ndi Zochepa

Komabe, pali zinthu zina zodetsa nkhaŵa zomwe zingabuke. Kupenda kwina kunavumbula kuti mwamsanga pambuyo pa chisudzulo, banja la kholo limodzi limavutika ndi kugwa kwa 73 peresenti m’muyezo wake wakakhalidwe. Momvekera kwenikweni, ndalama ndizo chodera nkhaŵa chachikulu kwa mabanja ambiri a kholo limodzi.a

Kodi mungachitenji? Mwinamwake inuyo muli ndi ulamuliro wochepa pa chuma cha banja lanu. Koma mungathandize kusunga ndi kuchulukitsa zomwe muli nazo mwakupeŵa kuwononga. (Yerekezerani ndi Yohane 6:12.) Rodney wachichepere akuti: “Pamene ndiri panyumba, ndimayesera kukhala wosamala kusaswa kapena kusoŵetsa zinthu, popeza kuti zimalira ndalama kukonza kapena kugula zatsopano. Ndimayesera kuzima zinthu zamagetsi kapena magetsi pamene sizikugwiritsiridwa ntchito. Izi zimathandiza kuchepetsako ndalama zamagetsi.”

Tony wazaka zakubadwa khumi mphambu zinayi amayesera kachitidwe kosiyana. Iye akuti: “Achichepere akusukulu kwanga amalamula makolo awo kuti awagulire nsapato zansalu ndi zovala zamakono. Iwo amakana kupita kusukulu popanda izo.” Tony akuwonjezera kuti: “Ndiribe zovala zamakono, koma ndine waukhondo ndi waudongo, ndipo ndimasamalira zimene ndiri nazo. Amayi anga akuchita zimene angathe; sindikufuna kupanga zinthu kukhala zovutirapo kwa iwo.” Kuchitirana chifundo koteroko sikumasunga kokha chuma chochepa koma kuli magwero enieni a chilimbikitso kwa kholo.—1 Petro 3:8.

Kuchepetsako kapena kulekeratu masikono ndi zakudya zosapatsa thanzi kungakhalenso kothandiza. Rita wachichepere akufotokoza kuti: “Kudyera kunyumba sikungakhale kosangalatsa mofanana ndi kudyera ku malesitilanti a zakudya zophikidwa mofulumira, koma kumasunga ndalama.” Kusanthula kwanzerudi! Achichepere ena amapereka ku thumba landalama labanja gawo la ndalama zomwe amalipiridwa ku ntchito yaganyu. Danny wazaka zakubadwa khumi mphambu zitatu amaŵapatsa amake ndalama zimene amalandira pa maulendo ake otolera mapepala. Amayi ake akulongosola kuti: “Nditatha kulipirira nyumba, petulo, lamya, chakudya, ndi kugula zovala, zimenezo ndizo ndalama zimene timakhalira. Ndipo Danny ndimwana wabwino koposa; sadandaula konse.” Kugwirizana m’njirayi ndiko njira imodzi ‘yolemekezera kholo lanu.’—Mateyu 15:4.

Komabe, musanafunefune ntchito yaganyu, kambitsiranani ndi kholo lanu.b Ntchito yaganyu ingadodometse ntchito yanu yakusukulu, mathayo apanyumba, ndi misonkhano Yachikristu. (Ahebri 10:24, 25) Makolo kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala okhoza kupeza njira ina yothandizira ana awo popanda kufunika kwakuti ana awo atenge mbali yaikulu ya thayolo. Komabe, mungafunikire kupirira ndi kukhala ndi ndalama zochepa. Koma kumbukirani kuti pamene kuli kwakuti zinthu zakuthupi ndi ndalama nzofunika, Akristu akuchenjezedwa kukhala okhutira ndi ‘zakudya ndi zofunda.’—1 Timoteo 6:8-10; Luka 12:15.

Mwachitsanzo, banja lanu lingafunikire kusamuka m’nyumba yaikulu kunka m’nyumba yaing’ono kapena chipinda, kuchipangitsa kuti tsopano mudzigaŵana chipinda ndi chiŵalo cha banja. Koma mungakhalebe wokhutira. Ndipo ndi luso lochepa lokha, mungakhale wokhoza kusunga malo anuwo kukhala amseri. Mwachitsanzo, mabanja ena agaŵa malo ogona m’chipinda chochezera, nabisidwa ndi moikamo mabuku. Mwakungolinganizanso malo omwe alipo kapena kugwiritsira ntchito chogaŵanitsa chipinda kungaperekenso lingaliro la malo amseri.

Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, katswiri wamalingaliro Richard A. Gardner akukumbutsa achichepere a kholo limodzi kuti: “Nchofunika kwambiri kukumbukira kuti ndalama—ndi zinthu zimene ndalama zingagule—sindizo zinthu zofunika koposa m’moyo. Ndi . . . zinthu zonga mtundu wa munthu amene muli ndi mmene mumachitira ndi anthu ena zimene zidzagamulapo kuti mudzakhala wachimwemwe motani m’moyo.” (Yerekezerani ndi Machitidwe 20:35.) Mogwirizana ndi izi, mtumwi Paulo anati: “Ndaphunzira kukhala wokhutira ndi zimene ndiri nazo . . . kotero kuti kulikonse kumene ndingakhale, panthaŵi iriyonse, ndine wokhutira.”—Afilipi 4:11, 12, TEV.

Mungakhalenso ndi mbali yaikulu ya mathayo oyendetsera nyumba yanu kuposa mmene zikanakhalira ngati munali m’nyumba ya makolo aŵiri. Koma mmalo mowawona moipa, yesani kuwawona monga mwaŵi ponse paŵiri wakuthandiza kholo lanu ndi kudziphunzitsa kaamba ka mathayo amtsogolo.

Mmene Mungasamalire Mathayo Olemera Mopambanitsa

Komabe, nthaŵi zina wachichepere amakhala ndi thayo lalikulu loti sangathe kulichita. Ichi chingachitike kwenikweni ngati ndinu mwana wamkulu pa onse. Kodi muyenera kuchitanji? Yesani kulankhula ndi kholo lanu ndikulongosola mmene vutolo likukuyambukirirani. Mwinamwake mungapereke lingaliro lakuti ntchito zigaŵidwe bwinoko. Mwachitsanzo, mabanja ena amalemba ndandanda yosonyeza ntchito zimene chiŵalo chabanja chirichonse chiyenera kuzisamalira. Mabanja ena amasinthasintha ntchitozo pakati pa ziŵalo zabanja zokhoza kuichita kotero kuti pasakhale aliyense wofunikira kuchita ntchito zosasangalatsa nthaŵi zonse.

Malingaliro omwe takambitsiranawo angatsimikizire kukhala othandiza m’kupanga zimene mungathe ndi mkhalidwe wanu. Komabe, uku sindiko kunena kuti kwa nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi simudzalakalaka kuti mukadakhala ndi kholo lachiŵiri. Koma wachichepere wotchedwa Carrie akuzilongosola motere: “Kuvutika maganizoko sikumatha kwenikweni, koma kumacheperachepera. Nkofanana ndi chipsera chachikulu chokhala padzanja panu. Nthaŵi zonse chimakhalapo, koma nthaŵi zina simumachilingalira.”

Komabe, zambiri zidzadalira pa mmene mumakalamirira kulaka mkhalidwe wanu. Popeza kuti mosasamala kanthu za kuipa kwa kukhala m’nyumba ya kholo limodzi, mungathandize kupanga moyo wanu kumeneko kukhala wachipambano ndi wachimwemwe!

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 20]

Kupanga nokha chakudya chanu chamasana kumasungira kholo lanu nthaŵi ndi ndalama