NKHANI YOPHUNZIRA 21
NYIMBO NA. 107 Tizitsanzira Chikondi cha Mulungu
Kodi Mungatani Kuti Mupeze Munthu Wokwatirana Naye?
“Kodi ndi ndani amene angapeze mkazi wamakhalidwe abwino? Ndi wamtengo wapatali kuposa miyala ya korali.”—MIY. 31:10.
ZIMENE TIPHUNZIRE
Tiona mfundo zomwe zingathandize munthu kupeza mwamuna kapena mkazi woyenera kukwatirana naye. Tionanso mmene ena mumpingo angathandizire omwe akufuna kulowa m’banja.
1-2. (a) Kodi Mkhristu ayenera kuganizira mfundo ziti asanayambe chibwenzi? (b) Kodi mawu akuti “chibwenzi” akutanthauza chiyani? (Onani “Tanthauzo la Mawu Ena.”)
KODI mukufuna kulowa m’banja? Ngakhale kuti ukwati si umene umapangitsa munthu kuti akhale wosangalala, Akhristu ambiri omwe sali pa banja, achikulire ndi achichepere omwe, amafuna kudzapeza munthu wokwatirana naye. Komabe musanayambe chibwenzi, muyenera kukhala pa ubwenzi wabwino ndi Yehova, kudzidziwa bwino komanso kukhala wokonzeka kusamalira banja.a (1 Akor. 7:36) Ngati mutakonzekera mu mbali zonsezi, mungadzakhale ndi banja labwino.
2 Nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kupeza munthu woyenera kukwatirana naye. (Miy. 31:10) Ndipo ngakhale mutapeza munthu amene mukufuna kumudziwa bwino, sizikhala zophweka kuyamba chibwenzi.b Munkhaniyi, tikambirana zimene zingathandize Akhristu omwe sali pa banja kuti apeze munthu woyenera kukwatirana naye. Tionanso mmene ena mumpingo angathandizire anthu omwe akufuna kulowa m’banja.
KUPEZA MUNTHU WOYENERA KUKWATIRANA NAYE
3. Kodi Mkhristu ayenera kuganizira zinthu ziti akamafufuza munthu woti akwatirane naye?
3 Ngati mukufuna kulowa m’banja, ndi bwino kudziwa makhalidwe a munthu amene mukufuna musanayambe chibwenzi.c Kupanda kutero, mukhoza kusiya munthu amene ndi woyenerera n’kuyamba chibwenzi ndi munthu amene si woyenerera kwa inu. N’zoona kuti munthu aliyense amene mukufuna kukwatirana naye, ayenera kukhala Mkhristu wobatizidwa. (1 Akor. 7:39) Koma si Mkhristu aliyense wobatizidwa yemwe angakhale wokuyenerani. Choncho mungachite bwino kudzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi zolinga zanga ndi zotani? Kodi ndi makhalidwe ati amene ndimaona kuti ndi ofunika kwa munthu amene ndikufuna kudzakwatirana naye? Kodi zimene ndimayembekezera n’zotheka?’
4. Kodi anthu ena amatchula zinthu ziti m’mapemphero awo?
4 Ngati mukufuna kulowa m’banja, n’zosachita kufunsa kuti mwapemphera kuti mupeze munthu woyenera. (Afil. 4:6) N’zoona kuti Yehova sakulonjeza kuti azipatsa munthu aliyense mnzake womuyenerera. Koma iye amaganizira zimene mumafuna komanso mmene mumamvera ndipo angakuthandizeni pamene mukufufuza munthu woti mukwatirane naye. Choncho pitirizani kumufotokozera zimene mukufuna komanso mmene mukumvera mumtima mwanu. (Sal. 62:8) Muzimupempha kuti akuthandizeni kukhala woleza mtima komanso akupatseni nzeru. (Yak. 1:5) M’bale wina wa ku United States dzina lake Johnd anafotokoza zimene amatchula m’mapemphero ake. Iye ananena kuti: “Ndimauza Yehova makhalidwe amene ndikufuna mwa mkazi amene ndikufuna kudzakwatirana naye. Ndimamupempha kuti andithandize kupeza mkazi woyenera. Ndimapemphanso Yehova kuti andithandize kukhala ndi makhalidwe omwe angachititse kuti ndikhale mwamuna wabwino.” Mlongo wina wa ku Sri Lanka dzina lake Tanya ananena kuti: “Pamene ndikufufuza mwamuna woyenera, ndimapempha Yehova kuti andithandize kukhala wokhulupirika, wosangalala komanso kusataya mtima.” Ngakhale pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi woyenerera sakupezeka mwamsanga, Yehova akulonjeza kuti apitiriza kukukondani komanso kukusamalirani.—Sal. 55:22.
5. Kodi ndi pa nthawi iti pamene Mkhristu angapeze munthu woyenera kukwatirana naye amene amakonda Yehova? (1 Akorinto 15:58) (Onaninso chithunzi.)
5 Baibulo limatilimbikitsa kuti tizikhala ndi “zochita zambiri pa ntchito ya Ambuye.” (Werengani 1 Akorinto 15:58.) Mukamatanganidwa potumikira Yehova komanso kucheza ndi abale ndi alongo osiyanasiyana, mudzalimbikitsidwa ndipo mudzakhalanso ndi mwayi wokumana ndi abale ndi alongo omwe sali pa banja amene mofanana ndi inuyo akuchita khama potumikira Yehova. Ndipo mukamachita zonse zimene mungathe kuti muzisangalatsa Yehova, mudzapeza chimwemwe chenicheni.
Mukamatanganidwa potumikira Yehova komanso kucheza ndi abale ndi alongo osiyanasiyana, mudzalimbikitsidwa ndipo mudzakhalanso ndi mwayi wokumana ndi abale ndi alongo omwenso akufuna kulowa m’banja (Onani ndime 5)
6. Kodi Akhristu ayenera kukumbukira chiyani pamene akufufuza munthu woti akwatirane naye?
6 Komabe muyenera kukhala osamala kuti nkhani yofufuza mwamuna kapena mkaziyi, isakhale yofunika kwambiri pa moyo wanu. (Afil. 1:10) Kukhala pa ubwenzi wabwino ndi Yehova n’kumene kungakuthandizeni kukhala wosangalala kwambiri osati kukhala pa banja. (Mat. 5:3) Ndipotu pa nthawi imene simuli pa banja mungakhale ndi ufulu wochita zambiri mu utumiki. (1 Akor. 7:32, 33) Muziigwiritsa ntchito bwino nthawi imeneyi. Mlongo wina wa ku United States dzina lake Jessica, yemwe anakwatiwa atatsala pang’ono kukwanitsa zaka 40 ananena kuti: “Ndisanakwatiwe ndinkatanganidwa kwambiri ndi utumiki ndipo zimenezi zinandithandiza kuti ndizikhala wosangalala ngakhale kuti ndinkafuna kukwatiwa.”
MUZIDZIPATSA NTHAWI YOTI MUMUDZIWE BWINO
7. N’chifukwa chiyani ndi nzeru kumudziwa bwino munthu musanamusonyeze kuti mukumufuna? (Miyambo 13:16)
7 Kodi muzitani ngati mwaona kuti munthu winawake ndi wokuyenererani? Kodi ndi bwino kumuuza nthawi yomweyo mmene mukumvera? Baibulo limanena kuti munthu wanzeru amayamba wadziwa bwino zimene akuchita. (Werengani Miyambo 13:16.) Choncho ndi bwino kudzipatsa nthawi yoti mumudziwe bwino iyeyo asakudziwa, musanamufotokozere maganizo anu. M’bale wina wa ku Netherlands dzina lake Aschwin ananena kuti: “Kukonda munthu kumayamba mwamsanga koma kukhoza kuthanso mwamsanga. Choncho mukadzipatsa nthawi yoti mumudziwe munthu, simungayambe naye chibwenzi chifukwa chongotengeka.” Ndipo pamene mukuyesetsa kuti mumudziwe bwino munthu mukhoza kuzindikira kuti si woyenera kwa inuyo.
8. Kodi munthu angatani kuti afufuze bwino munthu amene akufuna kuchita naye chibwenzi? (Onaninso chithunzi.)
8 Kodi mungachite bwanji zinthu mosamala pamene mukufuna kumudziwa bwino munthu wina? Pamisonkhano yampingo kapena pocheza pagulu, mukhoza kuona mmene munthuyo amakondera Yehova, khalidwe lake komanso mmene amachitira zinthu. Kodi amacheza ndi anthu ati, nanga amakonda kukamba nkhani zotani? (Luka 6:45) Kodi zolinga zake zikufanana ndi zanu? Mungathenso kufunsa akulu mumpingo wake kapena Akhristu ena olimba mwauzimu amene akumudziwa bwino. (Miy. 20:18) Mungawafunse za mbiri yake komanso makhalidwe ake. (Rute 2:11) Pamene mukufuna kumudziwa bwino munthu, muyenera kusamala kuti musakhale ngati mukumulondalonda. Muzilemekeza maganizo ake, musamamupanikize ndipo musamayese kufufuza chilichonse chokhudza iyeyo.
Muyenera kumudziwa bwino munthu musanamusonyeze kuti mukumufuna (Onani ndime 7-8)
9. Kodi muyenera kukhala otsimikiza za chiyani musanauze munthu maganizo anu?
9 Kodi nthawi yomudziwa munthuyo iyenera kukhala yaitali bwanji? Mukafulumira kufotokozera munthu maganizo anu, mudzaoneka ngati wopupuluma. (Miy. 29:20) Koma mukachedwanso mudzaoneka ngati munthu wozengereza makamaka ngati munthu winayo akudziwa kuti mukumufuna. (Mlal. 11:4) Kumbukirani kuti musanapite kukamufotokozera munthu maganizo anu, musamaganize kuti mulimonsemo akulolani basi. Muzingokhala wotsimikiza kuti mwakonzeka kulowa m’banja ndipo mukuona kuti munthu winayo akhoza kukhala wokuyenerani.
10. Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani ngati mwazindikira kuti munthu wina akukufunani koma inu simukumufuna?
10 Kodi mungatani ngati mwazindikira kuti munthu winawake akukufunani? Ngati munthuyo simukumufuna musamachite zinthu ngati mukumufuna. Si bwino kupangitsa munthu wina kuganiza kuti mukhoza kukhala naye pa chibwenzi pomwe sizili choncho.—1 Akor. 10:24; Aef. 4:25.
11. M’madera amene makolo kapena achibale amakonza zoti anthu akwatirane kapena akhale pa chibwenzi, kodi ayenera kuganizira zinthu ziti?
11 M’mayiko ena, makolo kapena achibale ena akuluakulu ndi amene amapezera munthu mwamuna kapena mkazi woti akwatirane naye. Pomwe m’mayiko ena achibale kapena anzake a munthu ndi amene amakonza kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi akumane n’kuona ngati ali oyenerana. Ngati mwapemphedwa kuti mukonze zoti anthu ena akhale pa chibwenzi kapena akwatirane, muyenera kuganizira zimene aliyense wa anthuwo amafuna komanso zimene amakonda. Mukapeza munthu amene mukuganiza kuti ndi woyenerera, muziyesetsa kumudziwa bwino komanso kudziwa makhalidwe ake. Koma chofunika kwambiri ndi kudziwa ngati amakonda Yehova. Kukhala pa ubwenzi ndi Yehova ndi kofunika kwambiri kuposa ndalama, maphunziro kapena kutchuka. Komabe muzikumbukira kuti m’bale ndi mlongo amene sali pa banjawo ndi amene ayenera kusankha ngati akufuna kukwatirana.—Agal. 6:5.
KUYAMBA CHIBWENZI
12. Ngati mukufuna kuyamba chibwenzi ndi munthu wina, kodi mungamufotokozere bwanji?
12 Ngati mukufuna kuyamba chibwenzi ndi munthu, kodi mungamufotokozere bwanji maganizo anu?e Mukhoza kukonza zoti mukakambirane ndi munthuyo kumalo amene kumapezeka anthu ena kapena kungomuimbira foni. Muyenera kumuuza momveka bwino kuti mukumufuna ndipo mungakonde kumudziwa bwino. (1 Akor. 14:9) Ngati ndi koyenera, muzimupatsa munthuyo nthawi yoti aganizire asanayankhe. (Miy. 15:28) Ndipo ngati munthuyo sakufuna kukhala nanu pa chibwenzi, muzilemekeza maganizo ake.
13. Kodi mungatani ngati munthu wina wanena kuti akukufunani? (Akolose 4:6)
13 Kodi mungatani ngati munthu wina wanena kuti akukufunani? Dziwani kuti munthuyo ayenera kuti anafunika kulimba mtima kuti afotokoze maganizo ake. Choncho muyenera kumuyankha mokoma mtima komanso mwaulemu. (Werengani Akolose 4:6.) Mufotokozereni ngati mukuona kuti mukufunika nthawi kuti mukaganizire nkhaniyo. Koma muziyesetsa kuti mumuyankhe mwamsanga. (Miy. 13:12) Ngati simukufuna, mufotokozereni mokoma mtima komanso momveka bwino. Taonani zimene m’bale wina wa ku Austria dzina lake Hans anachita atafunsiridwa ndi mlongo wina. Iye anati: “Ndinamufotokozera maganizo anga mokoma mtima koma momveka bwino. Ndinamuyankha nthawi yomweyo kuti asakhale ndi maganizo oti tsiku lina tikhoza kudzakhala pa chibwenzi. Kuyambira pamenepo ndinkachita naye zinthu mosamala kuti asaganize kuti ndikhoza kusintha maganizo anga.” Koma ngati mukufuna kukhala pa chibwenzi ndi munthuyo, muyenera kumufotokozera maganizo anu komanso zimene mukuyembekezera pa chibwenzi chanucho. Zomwe mukuyembekezera zingasiyane ndi za mnzanuyo chifukwa cha chikhalidwe kapena zinthu zina.
KODI ANTHU ENA ANGATHANDIZE BWANJI AKHRISTU OMWE SALI PA BANJA?
14. Kodi tingatani kuti mawu athu azilimbikitsa Akhristu omwe sali pa banja?
14 Kodi tonsefe tingathandize bwanji Akhristu amene akufuna kulowa m’banja? Njira imodzi ndi kukhala osamala ndi zimene timalankhula. (Aef. 4:29) Tingadzifunse kuti: ‘Kodi ndimakonda kuseleula anthu amene sali pa banja? Kodi ndikaona m’bale ndi mlongo amene sali pa banja akucheza ndimafulumira kuganiza kuti akufunana?’ (1 Tim. 5:13) Kuwonjezera apo, si bwino kuchititsa Akhristu ena kuganiza kuti akuperewera chifukwa chakuti sali pa banja. Hans amene tamutchula kale uja ananena kuti: “Abale ena amafunsa kuti, ‘N’chifukwa chiyani sukukwatira? Wakulatu tsopano.’ Mawu ngati amenewa, angachititse anthu amene sali pa banja kumva kuti sayamikiridwa ndipo angawakakamize kufuna kuti akwatire kapena akwatiwe.” Tingachitetu bwino kuyesetsa kupeza mpata woti tiziyamikira Akhristu amene sali pa banja.—1 Ates. 5:11.
15. (a) Mogwirizana ndi mfundo ya pa Aroma 15:2, kodi tiyenera kuganizira zinthu ziti tisanathandize munthu kuti apeze mwamuna kapena mkazi? (Onaninso chithunzi.) (b) Kodi ndi mfundo ziti zimene mwaphunzira muvidiyoyi?
15 Kodi mungatani ngati mukuona kuti zingakhale bwino m’bale ndi mlongo wina atakwatirana? Baibulo limatiuza kuti tiziganizira mmene anthu ena akumvera. (Werengani Aroma 15:2.) Anthu ambiri amene sali pa banja safuna kuti ena awauze munthu woti akwatirane naye ndipo tiyenera kulemekeza maganizo awo. (2 Ates. 3:11) Pomwe ena amafuna kuti anthu awathandize koma sitiyenera kuchita zimenezi ngati sanatipemphe.f (Miy. 3:27) Anthu ena amene sali pa banja amafuna kuti athandizidwe koma m’njira yosaonekera. Mlongo wina wosakwatiwa dzina lake Lydia yemwe amakhala ku Germany ananena kuti: “Mukhoza kuitana m’bale ndi mlongoyo kuti mucheze nawo pagulu la anthu. Ndi bwino kuwapatsa anthuwo mwayi woti akumane, n’kuwasiya kuti asankhe okha zimene akufuna.”
Akhristu omwe sali pabanja, akhoza kukumana pa nthawi imene akucheza pagulu (Onani ndime 15)
16. Kodi anthu amene sali pa banja ayenera kukumbukira chiyani?
16 Tonsefe, kaya tili pa banja kapena ayi, tingathe kumasangalala. (Sal. 128:1) Ngati mukufuna kukwatiwa kapena kukwatira koma simunapeze munthu woyenerera, ikani maganizo anu pa kutumikira Yehova. Mlongo wina wa ku Macao, dzina lake Sin Yi, ananena kuti: “Ndikayerekezera kutalika kwa nthawi imene ndidzakhale pa banja m’Paradaiso, ndimaona kuti nthawi imene ndingakhale ndekha m’dziko ili ndi yochepa. Muziona kuti nthawi imeneyi ndi yamtengo wapatali ndipo muziigwiritsa ntchito mwanzeru.” Koma bwanji ngati mwapeza munthu wokuyenerani ndipo mwayamba chibwenzi? Munkhani yotsatira, tidzakambirana zimene mungachite kuti chibwenzi chanu chiziyenda bwino.
NYIMBO NA. 137 Akazi Achikhristu Okhulupirika
a Kuti mudziwe ngati ndinu wokonzeka kulowa m’banja, onani pa jw.org nkhani yakuti, “Kukhala Pachibwenzi—Mbali Yoyamba: Kodi Ndine Wokonzeka Kukhala Pachibwenzi?”
b TANTHAUZO LA MAWU ENA: Munkhaniyi komanso yotsatira, mawu akuti “chibwenzi” akunena nthawi imene mwamuna ndi mkazi amadziwana kuti aone ngati angakwatirane. Chibwenzi chimayamba pamene mwamuna ndi mkazi atsimikizirana kuti akufunana ndipo chimapitirira mpaka pamene atsimikizira zoti akwatirana kapena pamene aganiza zoti chithe.
c Kuti pasavute, mundime zotsatirazi, tizifotokoza ngati mlongo ndi amene akufufuza m’bale. Koma mfundozi ndi zothandizanso pamene m’bale akufufuza mlongo.
d Mayina ena asinthidwa.
e M’zikhalidwe zina, m’bale ndi amene amafunsira mlongo kuti ayambe chibwenzi. Koma palibenso vuto ngati mlongo atafunsira m’bale. (Rute 3:1-13) Kuti mudziwe zambiri, onani nkhani yakuti, “Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . . Kodi Mnyamata Ndingamuuze Bwanji Kuti Ndikumufuna?” mu Galamukani! ya November 8, 2004.