Abapfakazi n’abapfakare bakeneye iki? Wobafasha gute?

Jeanne ari mu gikoni c’akazu kiwe gatoyi amurikiwe n’agaco gakeyi, ariko arapanga imeza ubwenge atari ho buri. Uko bigenda kwose, ategerezwa kugira ico atamiye. Agize atya, aritegereza akabona amasahani abiri ari imbere yiwe . . . maze agaturikisha akarira. Asanze yashizeho amasahani abiri nk’uko yari yaramenyereye! Haheze imyaka ibiri umugabo wiwe yikundira asandavye.

KU BO bitarashikira, ntibashobora gutahura umubabaro ukomeye uterwa no kubura uwo mwubakanye. Mu bisanzwe, ubwenge bw’umuntu buza kwemera ico kintu giteye intimba bwaratevye. Uwitwa Beryl w’imyaka 72 vyaramugoye kwemera urupfu rw’umugabo wiwe rwaje giturumbuka. Avuga ati: “Vyasa n’ibidashoboka. Sinashobora kwemera yuko ntosubiye kumubona yinjira mu nzu.”

Abantu bamwebamwe iyo babaciye igihimba c’umubiri, baguma bumva umengo baracagifise. Mu buryo busa n’ubwo, abapfakaye bishwe n’intuntu birashika bagasa n’ababona umukunzi wabo mw’isinzi ry’abantu canke bagasanga bariko barayagisha umuntu atakiriho!

Incuti n’abagenzi akenshi birabagora kumenya ukuntu bovyifatamwo iyo uwabo atuntujwe n’ukubura uwo bari bubakanye. Woba uzi umuntu yabuze uwo bari bubakanye? None ushobora gute kumufasha? Ni ibiki ukwiye kumenya kugira ngo ufashe abapfakazi n’abapfakare kwihanganira intuntu bafise? Wofasha gute uwabuze uwiwe kugira ngo atebe asubire kuryohererwa ubuzima?

Ivyo wokwirinda

Incuti n’abagenzi boshobora kubabazwa n’intuntu uwabo yabuze aba afise, maze ata mvo mbi babigiranye, bakagerageza kugabanya ikiringo amara atuntuye. Ariko rero, umushakashatsi umwe yagize itohoza ku bapfakazi n’abapfakare 700 yanditse ati: “Nta kiringo cokwitwa ntabanduka kiriho umuntu abwirizwa kumara atuntuye.” Ku bw’ivyo, aho kugerageza kubuza uwapfakaye kurira, numuhe akanya ko guserura intuntu afise.​—Itanguriro 37:34, 35; Yobu 10:1.

Naho vyoba bibereye gufasha uwabuze mu bijanye n’amaziko, ntiwiyumvire yuko utegerezwa kwifatira mu minwe ibintu vyose bijanye n’ayo maziko. Uwitwa Paul ni umupfakare afise imyaka 49. Avuga ati: “Nibaza ko abitanze ngo bamfashe mu buryo buboneka kandi bw’ingirakamaro bagize neza kuguma bareka ngo abe ari je nifatira mu minwe ibijanye n’amaziko. Kuri jewe vyari bihambaye cane ko notuma vyose bigenda neza ku maziko y’umukenyezi wanje. Numva ko ari co kintu ca nyuma nokora kugira ndamutere iteka.”

Ariko ntiwumve, ugize ico ufashije ntivyobura gushimwa. Umupfakazi w’imyaka 68 yitwa Eileen avuga ati: “Gutegura amaziko no gutunganya ivy’inkaratasi ntivyari vyoroshe kubera yuko ntashobora kwiyumvira neza. Igishimishije ni uko umuhungu wanje be n’umukazana wanje bahambereye vy’ukuri.”

N’ikindi kandi, ntiwitinye kuvuga ibijanye n’uwo mwabuze mutanse. Umwe Beryl twamaze kuvuga, agira ati: “Abagenzi banje ntiworaba ukuntu bamfashe mu mugongo. Ariko rero, narabonye ko benshi birinda kuvuga ibijanye n’umugabo wanje John. Wamengo ntiyigeze abaho, kandi hari ukuntu ivyo vyambabaza.” Haciye igihe, abapfakazi n’abapfakare boshima kuvuga bisanzuye ibijanye n’abo bari bubakanye. Woba wibuka ikintu kiranga umutima mwiza uwo muhisi yakoze canke inkuru iryoshe imwerekeye? Nubwire rero uwo yabuze yuko woshima kubimuyagira; ntiwitinye. Nimba ubona ivyo ushaka kuvuga vyokwakirwa neza, nuvuge ivyo wamushimako canke ivyo umukumburirako. Ivyo vyoshobora gufasha abapfakaye bishwe n’intuntu kubona ko abandi basangiye umubabaro na bo.​—Abaroma 12:15.

Igihe urondera kugira ico ufashije uwabuze, niwirinde kumucucagira impanuro. Niwirinde guhata uwabuze ngo afate ingingo gihutihuti.a Ahubwo riho, nuzirikane maze wibaze uti: ‘Ni ibintu vy’ingirakamaro ibihe nshobora gukora kugira mfashe umugenzi canke incuti yashikiwe n’iryo hinduka riri mu yagoye kuruta ayandi mu buzima?’

Ivyo woshobora gukora

Mu misi ya mbere ikurikira urupfu rw’umwe mu bari bubakanye, uwapfakaye yoshobora kwakiriza yompi imfashanyo ngirakamaro ahawe. Woba woshobora gufasha uwabuze mu kumutegurira udufungurwa, mu guha indaro incuti zaje kumugarukirako, canke mu kumusanga?

Urakeneye kandi kumenya yuko abagabo n’abagore boshobora kutavyifatamwo kumwe igihe bafise intuntu canke irungu. Nk’akarorero, mu mihingo imwimwe y’isi, abarenga ica kabiri c’abapfakare usanga basubira kwabirana n’abandi bagore ata mezi 18 arahaca bapfakaye, ico kikaba ari ikintu gishika gake ku bapfakazi. Ni igiki none gituma haba iryo tandukaniro?

Abagabo ntibama basubira kwabirana n’abandi bagore kugira ngo gusa baronke ivyo bakeneye mu vy’umubiri canke mu vy’igitsina nk’uko benshi bavyibaza. Mu bisanzwe, ukuba abagabo hari ukuntu bakunda kwitura abo bubakanye gusa ni vyo vyoshobora gutuma umugabo yicwa n’irungu iyo abuze uwo bari bubakanye. Abapfakazi bobo usanga akenshi bashoboye kwiyumanganya, naho bishika rimwe na rimwe bakibagirwa n’abagenzi b’abanega babo. Ukwo kuntu usanga abapfakare bakunda kuvyifatamwo ni kimwe mu vyerekana igituma benshi muri bo baca babona yuko gusubira kwabirana n’abandi bagore ari wo muti w’irungu baba barimwo, naho baba bahakwa gusanga batanguje ubucuti n’uwundi muntu gihutihuti. Abapfakazi rero boshobora kuba bashoboye kwihanganira imibabaro iterwa n’irungu kuruta abapfakare.

Umugenzi wawe canke incuti yawe yabuze, yaba ari umugabo canke umugore, wokora iki kugira ngo umuremurure umutwaro w’irungu afise? Uwitwa Helen, akaba ari umupfakazi afise imyaka 49, avuga ati: “Benshi usanga bipfuza gufasha, mugabo ntibibwirize kubigira. Kenshi usanga bavuga ngo: ‘Nimba hari ikintu ubona noshobora kugufasha, ntiwitinye kumbarira.’ Mugabo narashimye kubona hari bamwebamwe bambwiye gusa bati: ‘Ngira nje gusuma. Ubona twojana?’” Uwitwa Paul, umugore wiwe akaba yahitanywe n’indwara ya kanseri, arasigura igituma yahimbarwa hagize uwumutumira ngo basohokane. Avuga ati: “Rimwe na rimwe wumva umengo ntushaka kwifatanya n’abantu canke kubayagira ibikwerekeye. Mugabo umaze kumara nk’umugoroba uri kumwe n’abandi, uca wumva agahengwe; ntusubira kwumva wishwe n’irungu. Urumva ko abandi bakubabaye vy’ukuri, kandi ivyo biratuma woroherwa.”b

Igihe kugaragaza impuhwe birushiriza kuba ibishimwa

Aho benshi mu ncuti za Helen bamariye gusubira mu buzima bwabo busanzwe bwa misi yose, yasanze ari ho canecane arushirije gukenera ikimuremesha. Avuga ati: “Incuti n’abagenzi baraguserukako mu ntango, mugabo mu nyuma bakisubirira mu buzima bwabo bwa misi yose. Ubuzima bwawe bwobwo buguma kwa kundi.” Abagenzi nyabo baratahura ico kintu maze bakigora bakahaseruka, bakabandanya gufata mu mugongo uwabuze.

Hari aho umupfakazi canke umupfakare woshobora gusanga akeneye canecane kuba kumwe n’abandi ku misi yibuka ibintu bidasanzwe vyabaye mu buzima bwiwe, nk’umusi wo kwibuka ubugeni bwiwe canke urupfu rw’uwo bari bubakanye. Umwe Eileen twamaze kuvuga, avuga yuko umuhungu wiwe mukuru amumara irungu agira ku musi yibukirako ubugeni bwiwe. Avuga ati: “Uko umwaka utashe, umuhungu wanje Kevin aransohokana kuri uwo musi. Turasangira udufungurwa twa sasita, kandi bisigaye vyarabaye akantu gahuza umwana na nyina.” Ubona gute ivyo biringo bitoroshe incuti canke umugenzi yapfakaye acamwo, ubishize ku rutonde rw’ivyo uzokwitwararika? Woshobora rero gutegekanya ivy’uko wewe canke abandi, mwoba muri kumwe n’uwo muntu kuri uwo musi utoroshe.​—Imigani 17:17.

Hari abasanze ababa barapfakaye ubwabo bashobora kuba isôko ry’indemesho. Uwitwa Annie, akaba amaze imyaka umunani apfakaye, aravuga ivyo yabonye igihe yifatanya n’uwundi mupfakazi, ati: “Ishaka yari afise ryarankoze ku mutima cane ryongera rirandemesha gutera nja imbere.”

Ego cane, iyo abapfakazi n’abapfakare bamaze gutsinda intuntu bagira mu ntango, barashobora gutuma abandi bagira ivyiyumviro bishasha be n’ivyizigiro. Abapfakazi babiri bavugwa muri Bibiliya, ari bo Rusi wa mugore yari akiri muto be na inabukwe Nawomi, barungukiye ku kuntu bafatanye mu mugongo. Iyo nkuru ikora ku mutima irerekana ukuntu ukwitwararikana kw’abo bagore vyabafashije gutsinda intuntu no kuvyifatamwo neza mu bintu bitoroshe barimwo.​—Rusi 1:15-17; 3:1; 4:14, 15.

Igihe co gukira

Kugira ngo ababuze abo bari bubakanye basubire kugira ubuzima busanzwe, bakeneye kugira uburimbane hagati y’ukuguma bibuka uwabo be n’ukwitaho ivyo ubwabo bakeneye mu buzima bushasha baba barimwo. Wa Mwami w’inkerebutsi Salomo yariyemereye yuko hariho “igihe co kurira.” Ariko kandi yavuze yuko bikenewe ko haba n’“igihe co gukiza” canke gukira.​—Umusiguzi 3:3, 4.

Umwe Paul twavuga haruguru, aratanga akarorero kerekana ukuntu bigoye ko umuntu areka kuguma yiyumvira ivya kahise. Avuga ati: “Twe n’umukenyezi wanje twari tumeze nk’imivyaro ibiri y’ibiti vyakuze bisobekeranye. Mugabo harageze igihe, kimwe muri ivyo biti kirahwera kiraheza kirarandurwa, gisiga ikindi cabaye ikiburirane. Kuba inyakamwe numvise umengo ni ibintu ntamenyereye bitabaho.” Hari abanka kwibagira ivya kahise biyumvira ko boba bahemukiye uwo bahoze bubakanye yasandavye. Abandi na bo batinya ko baryohewe boba bahemutse, bigatuma banka gusohoka canke kuba hamwe n’abandi. None twoshobora gute gufasha abapfakazi n’abapfakare gukira buhorobuhoro, tukabafasha kubandanya ubuzima busanzwe?

Ica mbere umuntu yokora ni ugufasha uwo yabuze agaserura ukuntu yiyumva. Uwitwa Herbert, akaba amaze imyaka itandatu ari umupfakare, avuga ati: “Ndashima canecane ukuntu wasanga abashitsi baza bakicara batekanye maze bakantega amatwi igihe naba ndiko ndibuka ivya kahise canke mvuga ikintu caba kindaje ishinga muri uwo mwanya. Ndazi neza yuko ntamye ndi umuntu yoroshe kuyagisha, ariko narashima impuhwe bangaragariza.” Paul we yakozwe ku mutima canecane n’ivyo yakorewe n’umugenzi ahumuye yama yibwirije kumubaza ingene yumva amerewe mu mutima. Paul avuga ati: “Narashima ukuntu yanyitwararika ata buryarya kandi yiyoroheje, kandi akenshi naramubwira ukuntu naba numva merewe.”​—Imigani 18:24.

Igihe uwabuze aserura inyiyumvo zinyinyanira muri we, nk’ukwicuza, ukwiyagiriza canke ishavu, aba ariko atera intambwe ikomeye izomufasha kwemera uko ivyiwe bisigaye vyifashe. Umwami Dawidi wewe, gusuka ibiri mu mutima wiwe imbere ya wa mugenzi aruta abandi bose twokwitura, ni ukuvuga Yehova Imana, ni vyo vyamuronkeje inkomezi zo ‘kuva hasi’ akemera urupfu rubabaje rw’agahungu kiwe.​—2 Samweli 12:19-23.

Naho mu ntango usanga bigoye, impera n’imperuka uwapfakaye arakenera gusubira mu buzima busanzwe bwa misi yose. Woba ushobora kwifatanya na we mu dukorwa twawe twa misi yose tumwetumwe, nko kuja gusuma canke kuba muratembera ku kagoroba? Woba ushobora gusaba uwo mugenzi wawe ngo agufashe agakorwa kanaka? Ubwo ni ubundi buryo bwo gutuma abantu batigunga. Nk’akarorero, woba ushobora gusaba uwo mupfakazi akagufasha kuraba abana canke akakwereka ingene bakinjika ibifungurwa kanaka? Woba woshobora gusaba uwo mupfakare akagufasha gusanura utuntu tumwetumwe i muhira? Uretse ko kumusaba ivyo bintu bituma aronka ibikorwa bimukabura, biranamusubiriza umutima mu nda akabona yuko afise intumbero mu buzima.

Igihe uwabuze yongeye guserurira abandi akari ku mutima, yoshobora kugenda arasubira kuryohererwa ubuzima akanashobora kwishingira imigambi mishasha. Uko ni ko vyagendeye Yonette, akaba ari umupfakazi na inabibondo w’imyaka 44. Aravuga ivyo yibuka ati: “Gusubira kumenyera ubuzima bwa misi yose rwari urugamba! Gukora udukorwa twa misi yose, gukoresha neza amahera no kwitaho utwana twanje dutatu ntivyari vyoroshe namba.” Ariko rero, Yonette yahavuye yiga kwiyungunganya no guseruriranira akari ku mutima n’abana biwe mu buryo bwiza kuruta. Yarize kandi kwemera gufatwa mu mugongo n’abagenzi biwe bashika.

“Ubuzima buguma ari ingabire y’agaciro”

Kugira ngo incuti n’abagenzi bashobore gutanga imfashanyo ngirakamaro, barakeneye kubona ibintu mu buryo butarimwo ukurenza urugero. Uwapfakaye yoshobora kumara amezi, canke mbere imyaka, ugusubirana kwiwe n’ivyizigiro vyiwe biza birahindagurika, igihe kimwe ugasanga asa n’uwutekanye, ikindi gihe kagacamwo akihebura. Nta gukeka yuko “indwara yo mu mutima wiwe” ishobora gukara.​—1 Abami 8:38, 39.

Muri ivyo bihe bitoroshe ni ho uwapfakaye yoshobora gukenera indemesho akeneye kugira ngo yirinde kubona ibintu mu buryo butari bwo no kwigunga. Imfashanyo mwene iyo yarafashije abapfakazi n’abapfakare benshi guha ubuzima bwabo intumbero nshasha. Uwitwa Claude, akaba ari umupfakare afise imyaka 60 kandi muri kino gihe akaba ari umwamamaji w’Injili w’igihe cose muri Afirika, avuga ati: “Ubuzima buguma ari ingabire y’agaciro mbere n’inyuma y’umubabaro ukomeye umuntu agira iyo abuze uwo bari bubakanye.”

Iyo umuntu abuze uwo bari bubakanye, ubuzima ntibuba bukiri bwa bundi. Yamara rero ababuze uwabo basigaye, baguma bafise ibintu vyinshi bofashisha abandi.​—Umusiguzi 11:7, 8.

[Utujambo tw’epfo]

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Abagenzi nyabo barigora bakahaseruka, bakabandanya gufata mu mugongo uwabuze

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Vyoba ari ibintu vy’agaciro bifasha umuntu kwibuka uwiwe canke ni ibimubuza gusubirana?

Uwitwa Helen haciye imyaka mikeyi gusa abuze umugabo wiwe. Avuga ati: “Vyinshi mu vyo umugabo wanje yasize narabizigamye. Mbona yuko ivyo bintu bituma uko haca igihe ndushiriza kwibuka ibintu biteye umunezero. Sinashimye guca ubwo nyene nikurako ikintu na kimwe muri vyo, kubera ko uko umuntu yiyumva gushobora guhinduka rwose uko haca igihe.”

Uwitwa Claude haheze imyaka irenga itanu abuze umugore wiwe. Wewe avuga ati: “Jewe numva ko kugira ngo mbandanye kumwibuka atari ngombwa ngo ngume nkikijwe n’ibintu yasize. Nibaza ko kwikurako ivyo yasize vyamfashije kwemera ivyashitse vyongera biranyorohereza mu gihe namaze nishwe n’intuntu.”

Ayo majambo arerekana ukuntu abantu bashobora gufata ingingo zitandukanye ku bijanye n’ukuntu bofata ivyo uwapfuye yasize. Ni co gituma rero incuti n’abagenzi b’inkerebutsi birinda guhata uwo yapfakaye ngo yemere ivyiyumviro vyabo ku bijanye n’ico kibazo.​—Abagalatiya 6:2, 5.

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Hoba hariho imisi kanaka idasanzwe woshobora gusanga imfashanyo yawe yorushiriza gushimwa?

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Niwibuke kubatumira musohokane

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Niwifatanye n’abapfakazi hamwe n’abapfakare mu dukorwa twawe twa misi yose canke igihe wiruhura