Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Makolo Anga Akulekana—Kodi Ndichitenji?

“Usiku wina atate anga anatenga ana anayife kukadya ‘ice cream.’ Mwadzidzidzi anafotokoza zachisoni. Iwo anatiuza kuti: ‘Amanu ndi ine sitikumvana, choncho ndidzasamuka. Mwinamwake ndidzabwerera m’chilimwe.’ Palibe aliyense wa ife amene ananena kanthu. Iwo ayenera kukhala analongedza kale zinthu zawo, chifukwa chakuti pamene anakatipereka, sanaloŵe m’nyumba. Tinatuluka m’galimoto ndi kuima m’kanjira tikupukusa mitu yathu pamene atate ananyamuka kumapita.”—Tom.a

MAKOLO a Tom sanabwereranenso. Koma pa nthaŵi imeneyo, Tom analibe njira yodziŵira ngati iwo akabwererana kapena ayi.

Kumbali ina, makolo a Randy analekana nthaŵi zambirimbiri kwakuti sangazikumbukire. “Atate ankachoka kwa pafupifupi mwezi umodzi kapena iŵiri,” iye akukumbukira motero. “Kenaka iwo ankabwerera, ndipo zinthu zinkakhala bwino kwa kanthaŵi. Kenaka, mwadzidzidzi, iwo ankapitanso.”

Chisudzulo chimakhala ndi mapeto otheratu. Koma pamene makolo anu angolekana, ndipo simukudziŵabe kaya ngati adzasudzulana kapena ayi, kusatsimikizako kungakhale kovutitsa kwambiri. Makolo ambiri, mofanana ndi makolo a Randy, amabwererana koma amalekananso. Mogwirizana ndi bukhu lakuti Divorced Families, kulekana koyerekezedwa kukhala maperesenti 50 kumathera m’kubwererana kwakanthaŵi. Koma monga mmene ofufuza a chisudzulo Judith Wallerstein ndi Sandra Blakeslee akudziŵitsira: “Chisudzulo chimatsatiridwa ndi kulekana kungapo, kulikonse kukumawoneka kukhala chosankha koma sikumakhala komalizira. Izi zingasokoneze ana ndi kuwatsogoza kuyembekezera kugwirizananso.”

Mawu akuti, ‘Mwinamwake ndidzabweranso,’ amamveka kukhala odzaza ndi lonjezo. Koma mafunso amatsalabe popanda kuyankhidwa. Inu mumazizwa kuti: ‘Kodi makolo anga adzasudzulana? Kodi ndidzachita motani ndi malingaliro amene akundivutitsa panthaŵi ino?’

Kusanthula Namondweyo

Poyamba, mungadzipeze muli wopsyinjika, wotopa, wosakhoza kusumika maganizo, kapena ngakhale wokwiya mwaukali nthaŵi zina. Kapena inu mungangodzimva kukhala wosowa chonena. Zonsezi ndi ziyambukiro zofala ku mkhalidwe wonkitsa—umene umawonekawoneka masiku ano. Ngakhale kuti Mawu a Mulungu amalimbikitsa okwatirana kukhala pamodzi ndi kuthetsa mavuto awo, mkhalidwe wa dziko kulinga ku ukwati wanyonyotsoka kwambiri. (1 Akorinto 7:10-16) Lerolino, nthaŵi zina ukwati uli ndi mwaŵi wa kupulumuka wochepera pa 50 peresenti. Monga momwe Baibulo linaneneratu kalekale, nyengo yathu yawona kutsika kozizwitsa kwa ‘chikondi chachibadwidwe’ chomwe pa nthaŵi ina chinali chofala m’mabanja.b—2 Timoteo 3:3.

Kodi mungachite motani? Zinthu zomwe mukupyolamo zingayerekezedwe ndi namondwe m’moyo wanu. Kulingalira izo m’njira imeneyo kungakuthandizeni m’njira ziŵiri. Choyamba, palibe namondwe amene amakhalirira osatha. Kuvutika maganizo kumene mukukumva tsopano kudzatha posapita nthaŵi, monga mmene namondwe yense amachitira. Ndipo chachiŵiri, mungafufuze njira yanu kupyola namondwe ameneyu. Simufunikira kulowa ‘pansi.’ Komabe, monga mmene chombo popyola namondwe chimafunikirabe kudutsa matanthwe, pali ngozi zina zonga matanthwe zimene zingatanthauzedi tsoka lenileni. Tiyeni tifotokoze zoŵerengeka.

Ziyembekezo Zabodza

Vuto limodzi loterolo lingakhale kukhazikitsa mtima pa kubwezeranso makolo anu pamodzi. Anne akukumbukira motere: “Pamene iwo analekana, makolo anga ankatitengabe tonse kupita koyenda pamodzi. M’chemwali wanga ndi ine tinkanong’onezana kuti, ‘Tiye tithamange pamodzi nkuwasiya aŵiriwo ali okha.’ Koma,” iye akuusa moyo, “ndikhulupirira kuti sizinagwire ntchito. Iwo sanabwererane konse.”

Monga momwe Miyambo 13:12 ikunenera: ‘Chiyembekezo chozengereza chidwalitsa mtima.’ Kumbukirani kuti simungalamulire zimene makolo anu amachita. Sindinu amene munachititsa kulekana kwawo, ndipo mothekera kwenikweni inu simungagweremo ndi kumangirira ukwati wawo pamodzi.—Onaninso Miyambo 26:17.

Ngozi ya Udani

Mkwiyo ndi udani zingakhale “matanthwe” akupha kwambiri amene mungakumane nawo mu namondwe ameneyu. Tom akukumbukira malingaliro ake pamene anali ndi zaka 12 motere: “Ndinayamba kuŵakwiyira kwenikweni atate anga. Sindikonda kugwiritsira ntchito liwu lakuti ‘chidani,’ koma ndidasungadi zinthu kukhosi kwambiri. Sindinathe kuwona konse mmene akasamalira ife ngati akatisiya. Ndipo ndilingalira kuti mkati mwanga ndinkati tsopano ino ndi nthaŵi yanga yowadziŵitsa iwo mmene ineyo ndikumverera.”

Mwakamodzikamodzi kulekana kwaukwati kumachitika mogwirizana; chotero mwachibadwa kholo limodzi limawoneka kukhala laliŵongo koposa kwa inu. Mwinamwake zingachitike kuti mmodzi wa makolo anu analakwira lamulo la Mulungu la kukhala wokhulupirika kwa mnzawo wa muukwati. (Ahebri 13:4) Komabe, mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, kodi mumachita motani ndi kholo limene likuwoneka kukhala lolakwa kwambiri? Kodi muyenera kuda kholo limenelo kapena kuyesa kubwezera kholo lolakwalo?

Choyamba kumbukirani kuti kulekana kaŵirikaŵiri sikuli kopepuka mwakungoti kholo limodzi “nloipa” koposa ndipo linalo “nlabwino” koposa. Mwinamwake makolo anu sanakuuzeni zonse ponena za ukwati wawo kapena kusweka kwake; mwinamwake iwo eni sakukumvetsetsa. Chotero peŵani kuweruza mkhalidwe umene simukuudziŵa bwino. (Miyambo 18:13) Mwamwaŵi, Mulungu ndiye Woweruza wa nkhani zonse zoterozo. Iye sanakuikeni konse kukhala woweruza kapena wopereka chilango kwa makolo anu. Ndipo chimenecho nchodzetsa mpumulo chotani nanga! Kodi ndani wa ife amene angasenze thayo loterolo?—Aroma 12:19.

Kunena zowona, mkwiyo ngovuta kuwupeŵa; ndipo nkwachibadwa kuti mudzimve wokhumudwa koposa tsopano. Koma kusunga mzimu wokwiya ndi wolipsyira mwapang’onopang’ono kungavulaze umunthu wanu. Baibulo limati “mtima wabwino ndi moyo wa thupi.” Ndithudi, mtima wabwino suli wodzala ndi chiwawo. Nzosadabwitsa kuti Baibulo limatiuza kuti “leka kupsa mtima, nutaye mkwiyo.” (Miyambo 14:30; Salmo 37:8) Kuwonjezerapo, lamulo la Baibulo la kulemekeza makolo anu limagwira ntchito ngakhale kulemekeza makolo amene akukhumudwitsani.—Luka 18:20.

Chotero Tom anathetsa mkwiyo wake. Iye tsopano akunena kuti: “Nkopepuka kusunga zinthu kukhosi ndi kulingalira wekha kuti, ‘Wolakwa ndi uyu. Kuyenera ndimude.’ Koma ndinayamba kudzifunsa ndekha kuti, ‘Kodi zimenezi nzabwinodi?’ Ndipo ndinadzazindikira kuti ayitu, sizabwino. Monga Mkristu, simungasunge zinthu kukhosi.”

Ndithudi, pamene Baibulo likunena kuti leka mkwiyo, ilo silikutanthauza kuti mudzinamizira kuti simunakwiye. Ngati zochita za makolo anu zakukwiyitsani, bwanji osayesera kulankhula nawo ponena za izo, mwaulemu mukumawazindikiritsa lingaliro lanu?—Onani Miyambo 15:22, 23; 16:21.

Kugwidwa Pakati

‘Koma kodi ndingachite motani ndi lingaliro limeneli la kukhala wogwidwa pakati pa makolo anga?’ inu mungafunse motero. Ichi chingakhale “thanthwe” lozunguzitsa mutu lovuta kulizemba. Randy akukumbukira motere: “Chinthu chimene ndinawopa kwambiri pochezera atate anga chinali chakuti amayi anga ankandifunsa mafunso ankhaninkhani pambuyo pa ulendo uliwonse. Ndipo iwo ankapotoza zinthu ponena za atate. Ndinkati, ‘Hii nanunso, Amayi! Kodi mumachitiranji zimenezi? Tandilekani ndekha!’ Ndipo iwo ankanyanyuka ndikundikakamiza kuyankha mafunso awo.”

Nthaŵi zina makolo amagwiritsira ntchito ana awo kutumizirana mauthenga aukali kapena ngakhale kusonjolerana! Mkazi wina anafuna kudziŵa unyinji wa ndalama zimene mwamuna wake wothaŵa pakhomo anali nazo. Chotero iye ndi mwana wake wamwamuna wa zaka khumi zakubadwa anatsegula zenera lanyumba ya atatewo, ndipo mnyamatayo analoŵa mkati kukaba bukhu la ndalama la atate wake. “Tidzawagwira!” anatero mnyamatayo mokondwera.

Sichabwino kuti makolo anu adziyesera kukugwiritsirani ntchito monga chipangizo chobwezerera. Koma kumbukirani kuti iwo akupyola nyengo yovutitsa maganizo. Chotero khalani nawo moleza mtima monga mmene mungathere. Lankhulani nawo. Mungafune kunena kuti, ‘Amayi ndi Atate, ndimakukondani nonsenu. Chotero chonde musandigwiritsire ntchito kukuvulazitsani.’ Ichi sichikutanthauza kuti simuyenera kugwirizana nawo, kukana kunyamula uthenga uliwonse kuchokera kwa wina kunka kwa wina. Koma ngati makolo anu ali okwiya ndi ofuna kulipsyira, iyi ndiyo nthaŵi yochoka pakati pawo.—Miyambo 26:17.

Mwanjira imodzimodziyo, chikakhala chinyengo kuyambanitsa makolo anu kuti mupindule, mukumanena zinthu zonga ngati izi: “Ndidzapita kukakhala ndi Amayi. Iwo amandilola kuchita zimene ndikufuna.” Pambuyo pa kulekana, makolo angadzimve kukhala aliŵongo kwenikweni kaamba ka chipsyinjo chimene apangitsa kwa ana awo ndi kumamatira kwa iwo mopambanitsa. Achichepere amene amazindikira mphamvu imene ali nayo pa makolo awo angayesedwe kuigwiritsira ntchito. Koma motsimikizirika inu simukufuna kuŵalamulira.

Komabe, pali zina zambiri kuti mupulumuke namondweyu, kuposa kungopeŵa matanthwewa. Nkhani ya mtsogolo idzafotokoza zinthu zabwino zimene mungachite kuti muthandizidwe kuchita nazo.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 16]

Zinthu zomwe mukupyolamo zingayerekezedwe ndi namondwe m’moyo wanu. Kulingalira izo m’njira imeneyo kungakuthandizeni kuzipyola, chifukwa chakuti palibe namondwe amene amakhalirira osatha

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 17]

Mkwiyo ngovuta kuwupeŵa; ndipo nkwachibadwa kuti mudzimve wokhumudwa koposa tsopano. Koma kusunga mzimu wokwiya ndi wolipsyira mwapang’onopang’ono kungavulaze umunthu wanu